Wordless Wednesday

Im Sorry

“I’m sorry” are two of the most over used words in the English language, in my opinion. When you hurt someone you are supposed to say you’re sorry (if you’re decent). “I slept with someone else but boy am I sorry." So, are they sorry they did it or that they got caught? Probably a little of both. Saying things to people to make them feel better when you don’t really mean it isn’t right. Doing something like cheating or betrayal and thinking a simple apology will suffice isn’t right either. How do you know if a person is blowing smoke up your rear or not? My oldest son was a master at lieing. I wanted so badly to believe him and he let me down every time. You can judge a person by their character but what if they are just a great liar? Trusting people is so hard. You want to believe in other people, making you vulnerable, but what if you have been burned so many times you just can’t trust anyone? Actions speak louder than words. If you continue to lie and then follow it up with “I’m sorry”, it has no meaning at all. If you constantly say hateful things to people but follow it up with an apology, what’s the sense? Abusers do that, it’s what they master. However, people you love and trust do that too. I don’t think those two words should be a “get out of jail” free card. My belief, don’t do things that make you have to say it in the first place. It’s so hard to trust people anyway; Lord only knows the emotional baggage most of us carry around nowadays, especially into our 40’s. You think by then we should know better, but we don’t. You never get past the hope and faith that giving your love to someone won’t be a mistake. I think they should come up with another phrase besides “I'm sorry” because its so overused and has lost the plot by many along the way. "Love means never having to say your sorry." Does that mean if you love someone you wont do anything to hurt them or if someone loves you they know you didnt mean what you said or did? Im confused.

Stressed out

Have you ever had one of those days when everything seems out of control? That appears to be my life lately. I want to blame Mercury in retrograde for it all. Which means, for 3 weeks, nothing is going to go as planned. My job has really been stressing me out lately. I started 4 months ago but I still feel like the newby. They are doing all kinds of audits and Ive been assigned a new job duty that I really don't like. As a single mother Ive learned to eat alot of crow. Sometimes the crow turns into crap sandwiches and those are a little harder to digest. The days go by very quickly but I'm so exhausted by the end of the day, its hard to get my household things done. I know this too shall pass because it always does, I just hope I survive. Am I being melodramatic? Why cant I just win the lotto and kiss my working ass goodbye? I guess I should probably buy a ticket first, that might help. However, the odds are so high, the chances of winning are comical. I wish I could work 2 days a week and be off for 5. With the new renovations to my house growing closer, I wonder how I'm going to get everything done. I guess time will tell. I'm sure the stress level will continue to rise and fall (depending on the day) as I get up to do my motherly duties. My son's senior year is coming up. I hope his grades wont be another thing for me to stress out on as the coming year grows near. Oh well, I am a strong woman with big shoulders for all the things I have to bare. In the meantime, I will continue to breathe and take life one day at a time. Can you relate?

A.C.E.S.

As most of you know, I have had my struggles with collecting child support. I hired Supportkids to help and that was a big mistake on my part. I have paid them 34% of my child support for the last 6 years. There have been fellow bloggers that have come to my aide to help with my continuing fight to terminate the contract between myself and Supportkids. Alot of parents hire them because they are in dire straights and don't know what to do. Thanks to That Crazy Mom and Jeni, I decided to look into a website called A.C.E.S., which stands for: The Association for Children, for Enforcement of Support. What a great website! It has everything you can imagine that you would need to start your battle. I wish I would have known about this site before I hired Supportkids. It gives you statistics, resources, forms, information on grants, the latest legislation regarding child support, your local and federal offices information along with their policies and who to contact. A.C.E.S. is a godsend to parents who feel they have no place to turn. I was also given information from Mommy2, (who doesn't have a blog set up) for people who are currently in their own battle with Supportkids. She stated that you should write to the Texas Department of Banking, which regulates private collection agencies. Their address is:

Texas Department of Banking
2601 North Lamar Blvd.
Austin, TX 78705
(512) 475-1300
(877) 276-5554

You can also write to the department which investigates and monitors these companies.

Consumer Protection and Public Health Division
Office of the Attorney General
P.O. Box 12548, Austin, Texas 78711-2548.

Its amazing what you can find out if you simply ask for help. I give thanks to all three of these wonderful women who have come forward with their stories, information, and experiences. If anyone else has something that they know or want to share regarding child support dilemmas or Supportkid headaches, please feel free to let me know. I not only share this information on my blog but also the people at Divorce360. If we all stand united for a cause, the voice of the people just might be heard.

Fathers Day for Single Mothers

For years, I have played the role of Mother and Father to my two boys. I know that Mothers Day is a day to celebrate your Mom but what about Fathers Day? I think that a parent that solely raises their child alone, without the emotional or financial help from the sperm donors or absent parent, should be acknowledged for their duel role in that child's life. I didn't understand much about football, but I tossed a ball back and forth with my son's AND attended all of their football, baseball, and soccer games. I went to Boy Scout outings and did my best to participate when a father might have been a nicer fit. I couldn't teach them how to change oil but I found someone who could. I taught them about sex from a woman's view point. They have learned how to fish,cook, mow lawns, and do laundry. What did their father teach them? How NOT to be a bad father when they have children of their own and that running from the law was bad. Those are words directly from my 16 year olds mouth. I'm not saying kudos should go out to single mothers only but with Fathers Day coming up, it made me ponder on life as a single parent. I dont think people realize how hard it is to teach a child everything from only one genders view point. My ex husband has not earned the respect to be celebrated as a Father nor should he get a father of the year award. However, that decision is up to my children. My point and the reason for this blog is to wish all of the single mothers out there, that are doing duel roles, a Happy Fathers Day. It seems only right, doesnt it? Remember, the hardships you are going thru now will pass. One day you will look back and pat yourself on the back, for not only surviving, but for doing a great job raising your kids.

TT #65

13 ways to pamper yourself

1. Get a massage.

2. Go shopping and buy something you really want (within reason).

3. Treat yourself to lunch at your favorite restaurant.

4. Get a pedicure.

5. Spend the whole day in bed reading or watching your favorite movies on T.V.

6. Have multiple orgasm....Im sure your partner wont mind, and if your alone, scream out your own name!

7. Go to the movies and see something YOU want to see.

8. Take a hot bath and put on some soft music.

9. Take a walk on a bright sunny day.

10. Did you say you love frozen yogurt?? Go to your favorite yogurt shop and get extra strawberries on the top. Dont forget the chocolate.

11. Use a sick day and do absolutely nothing.

12. Get a babysitter and go out dancing.

13. Have someone else cook for a change. Its amazing how much better it tastes!!

Wordless "Missing my Dad" Wednesday

Wishing my Guardian Angel a Happy Fathers Day

The DCSS is no better than Supportkids.

I sent a complaint to the DCSS that said:

I would like to file a complaint against an agency that collects child support. That agency is Supportkids and they can be reached at 1-800-691-KIDS. I signed a contract with them 6 years ago and they have been collecting 34% of my children's child support since then. I was desperate. I have requested termination several times but they refuse. Is there anything I can do by law?

My Response:

The Department of Child Support Services cannot assist you with your complaint against SupportKids, as they are a private company. You may wish to contact the Better Business Bureau or the California Department of Consumer Affairs regarding your complaint.

Thank you for taking the time to inform us of your concerns.

OK, so the Department of Child Support Services are not there to help single mothers with child support issues because this isn't their problem? Then what is?? Are they really there for the children or are they a bunch of non-caring people that go to work for a paycheck? I'm going to do a complaint with the BBB and the CDCA, we shall see where that gets me. Everyone passes the buck. What about the single parents that need assistance? We are allowed to get robbed and scammed because the government agencies wont get up off their butt's and find the irresponsible parent to begin with. Then, Supportkids swoops down and feeds off of our desperation. Whats a parent to do? I wonder how the people at the DCSS sleep at night and I also wonder the same thing about the folks at Supportkids. Why are they allowed to stay in business if what they are doing is against the law? I want answers, not excuses. Ive been battling the system for 14 years and I have come to the conclusion that it doesn't work. Something needs to be done. I wont give up until justice is served. Next on the list, the Attorney General. We shall see where that get's me.

Problems at home?

I have had problems with my youngest son in school since God knows when. He has ADHD and its always been a constant struggle. Recently, I learned he was failing a few of his classes. When asked about his grades, he said he slacked off and was trying to recover. In reality, he wanted to go off of his meds ( I know alot of people are against them but some kids really need them). I allowed him to try school for a month and see how he did. Well, his Progress Report said it all. His English teacher called me at work to let me know about my sons failing grade after I had already received the report. This is the second year she has had him in her class so she really should know how he is by now. Anyway, towards the end of our conversation, she asked me if things were OK at home. What?? I guess as a teacher you might venture into a conversation like that with the parent of a troubled teen. My son, however, is not troubled. He can be very lazy when it comes to school work. I was offended. I explained to her his desire to go off his medication and she acted like I was full of crap. She took it the next step further, I guess, because she wasn't satisfied with my response. First let me state that my son is not on illegal drugs, he doesn't die his hair or have piercings, he's not a rebel, and does nothing that would constitute your typical cry for help. She told the school counselor that he MAY have a problem, so he was called into her office. The first thing the counselor asked him was if there were problems at home. His answer, "no, I slacked off at the beginning of the semester and I'm trying to make up for it now." Why, just because my son slacks off in his school work, does that mean he is having problems at home? And why wasn't she satisfied with my answer? In hind site, one might say its a good thing that a teacher cared enough to ask. I, on the other hand, feel like she has questioned my ability as a mother and parent. If a child shows continual signs that they are in distress or has a drastic change in personality, then would be the time to seek further assistance. Making the parents feel inferior is not the answer. Am I wrong to take that personal? Since then, I have clamped down hard on his school work and we are hoping it will be enough for him to pass his classes. I would just like to add, I had no idea there was an issue until his Progress Report arrived. If a student is having problems, shouldn't the teacher contact the parent before hand so its not too late?? I would really like to know the answer to that question. Maybe I should forward this to his teacher so she knows exactly how she made me feel. Im I being too sensitive?

TT #64

13 things people shouldn’t have to deal with.

1. Someone making you feel inferior.

2. A person with a chip on their shoulder determined to ruin your day. Try smiling at them.

3. Salesmen that don’t take no for an answer.

4. Bill collectors.

5. Cheaters.

6. Teenagers with foul mouths. Im sorry, thats unacceptable. Show some respect.

7. People that don’t know how to control their children in public.

8. Jerks that steal your parking spot.

9. The price of gasoline going over $4.00 dollars a gallon. Come on guys, give me a break!!

10. PMS

11. Being judged for not being perfect.

12. Being hungry and homeless in our country while we are sending financial aide overseas.

13. Customer service people that cant speak English very well. Especially when they work for your bank.

Wordless Wednesday

Sex and the City two thumbs up!!!!!

Sex and the City the movie was a BIG, BIG, BIG thumb’s up!! I never wanted it to end. I didn’t realize just how much I missed the girls until I seen them on the big screen. DBF Michael was a trooper. Not only did he get me the tickets for Mothers Day, he actually went to see it with me and enjoyed it (as much as a guy could) even though it was a chick flick. The only thing bad I have to say is that they wrapped up all of the loose ends. There will be no sequel. If you are a Sex and the City fan, seeing this movie is a must!! The girls looked fabulous. I wish they would bring the series back. After raking in over 55 million last weekend that should tell them how much they are loved and missed! What do you say girls??? Let’s petition to get them back!!!

Women and auto repair

Today I took my car in for the 5th time to Goodyear Tire to get my brakes repaired. Livid doesn't even describe what I feel about having to return my car over and over to get it done right. Most mechanics see a woman and they think instant sucker. Not this girl. I paid close to $700 dollars in November for a complete brake job, front and back. My car was fine for about 4 months. Then, the noises started. I took it back free of charge because they gave me a year warranty. They fixed the noise, it lasted 2 weeks, then it was back again. I took back again, they fixed the noise, and it lasted about 3 weeks. So, after the 3rd time back, they decided to replace my brake drums. I'm thinking, finally, my car will be fixed and I don't have to worry about a thing. Nope, no such luck. When I went down my first hill after getting the brakes done, the whole back of my car shook. By this time, I'm beside myself. I called them back (now that I know their number by heart) on Thursday to let them know the issue, AGAIN...he says bring it in on Sunday at 10am and they will fix me right up. I take time out of my busy weekend to bring it back and they didn't even have me on the schedule!!! After throwing a fit, I left the car for another 2 hour repair, so now things should be OK...allegedly. Unfortunately, I'm just waiting for the other ball the drop because I have had nothing but problems for the past 3 months. I don't know if its because I'm a woman or because they are incompetent, but I would NEVER recommend taking your car to Goodyear Tire for a brake job. It has been my worst nightmare, and I feel that if I were a man, it would have been done right the first time. Who knows. If my car isn't fixed this time, I'm reporting them to the BBB. This is ridiculous, not to mention, a waste of time over 5 separate weekends. That just goes to show, just because the business is well known doesn't make them any better than the guys that rob you in a small shop. Women beware!!