TT #48

13 Things PMS Stands for

1. Pass My Shotgun

2. Psychotic Mood Swing

3. Perpetual Munching Spree

4. Puffy Mid Section

5. People Make me Sick

6. Pass Me Sweets

7. Pardon My Sobbing

8. Pimples May Surface

9. Pass My Sweats

10. Pissy Mood Syndrome

11. Pack My Stuff

12. Potential Murder Suspect

13. Pre Menstrual Syndrome...duh!!

Wordless Wednesday

Thanks DBF Michael...what a great idea for a cup with a hairline crack in it!! Now thats what I call recycling:)

What if he left you for a man, not a woman?

I know there are many women who have been left heartbroken because their man found love in another woman’s arms. However, what do you do when it’s a man? How do you compete with the opposite sex and then deal with it on a mental level? This happened to a friend of mine. I always knew there was something a little different about her boyfriend, the fact that I grew up with him helped me know him on another level. We were very close, and when he started going out with Paula, I became good friends with her. They went out for a couple years. She always complained that he wasn’t very sexual but she loved him deeply so she did what most women do, stood by her man. They decided to go to Cosmetology School together, which may have been a mistake or a blessing depending on which side of the fence you’re on. Needless to say, he found his true calling and she got her heart broken. I was in the middle, and for a situation like this, that wasn’t the best place to be. I loved them both. He was related to me but she was my best friend. I sat up night after night with her while she cried and he ended up putting up a barrier that literally tore our relationship apart. I tried to put myself in her shoes but how could I? That is something I could never imagine. What do you do, have loyalty to your family or friend? It all worked itself out eventually. He is now living happily with someone that makes him very happy, and she moved on as well. However, it’s been years since this happened and he and I hardly ever talk. We went from seeing each other all the time to nothing for a very long time. I often wonder if I made a mistake being a shoulder for her to cry on when I should have been there for him and what he was going thru. Hindsight is 20/20 they say and I guess everything happens for a reason. I’m just thankful not to have gone thru this myself. I know what its like to love so much it hurts. I couldn’t imagine losing that love to another man. What would you do?

You make me smile!!

Rhonda at Im Running to Win gave me the "You make me smile" award. Its so wonderful to be recognized by my fellow bloggers and to know I make them smile. Thank you so much for the kudos!!

Co-dependency

Co-dependency happens when two people form a relationship with each other because neither feels that he or she can "stand alone." Neither person feels capable or self-reliant. It is as if two half parts are trying to make a whole. Both partners are seeking to become psychologically complete by binding the other partner to themselves. For example, a woman may spend most of her attention and time assisting her lover in recovering from drug addiction. She feels a sense of purpose and may appear to be wonderfully self-sacrificing. However, she may also be avoiding her own unhappiness and personal issues, like her fear of abandonment. Her partner may believe that he can't deal with his addiction without her. He sways between feeling grateful for her help and resentful for what he feels is her nagging and smothering behavior. Many co-dependent partners feel "let down," "taken advantage of," or "trapped" by their needy partner when they are really "trapped" by their own overwhelming neediness. The addicted partner is also using his complaints about the relationship to avoid dealing with his own neediness and addiction. In a co-dependent relationship, "We need each other," which can be a healthy thing, often covers over "I need you to need me"; this can lead to "I will keep you needy because, if you ever get better, I am afraid that you will leave me." This kind of interaction is grounded in desperation and often spawns abusive and obsessive relationships grounded in neediness and control rather than love and respect. It’s a vicious cycle and one that I have been guilty of once in my life and it lastest 8 years. I suggest if you find yourself in this type of situation to seek help. There are many “self help” books out there that can help you take the first step. If it’s a mild case, this may be all that you need. If its not, I suggest counseling. You must admit to yourself that you have a problem first. Denial is a terrible place to live.

Before I was a Mom

A friend of mine forwarded me a poem that I loved and I wanted to share it with you:

Before I was a Mom
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom -
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom -
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom -
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache,
the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom

TT #47

13 things to teach your teen

1. You can’t always be first.

2. You can’t always win.

3. Not everything in life will be easy.

4. How to deal with bullies, mean people and rude people.

5. How to cope with the end of a relationship or break up.

6. How to resolve a dispute with a teacher, boss or other superior.

7. We all make mistakes and can learn from them.

8. How to ask for help.

9. Signs that a friend or loved one may be suffering (from an addiction to depression).

10. How to make decisions by weighing pros and cons.

11. Not all gratification can be instant - some things are worth the wait.

12. Everyone has something to contribute to society - it just might take a little exploration.

13. How to be a good friend.

Wordless Wednesday

This is how I feel at the end of the week!!

Is Annulment an option?

Annulment is a legal procedure for declaring a marriage null and void. Unlike divorce, it is retroactive and considered never to have existed. In legal term’s, an annulment refers only to making a voidable marriage null. Have you ever heard the term null and void? I have seen a lot of questions regarding annulment so I did some research and found the guidelines for obtaining an annulmeent, which may vary in different legal jurisdictions. The list is as follows:

1. Either spouse was already married to someone else at the time of the marriage in question.
2. Either spouse was too young to be married, or too young without required court or parental consent. (In some cases, such a marriage is still valid if it continues well beyond the younger spouse's reaching marriageable age.)
3. Either spouse was under the influence of drugs or alcohol at the time of the marriage;
4. Either spouse was mentally incompetent at the time of the marriage;
5. If the consent to the marriage was based on fraud or force;
6. Either spouse was physically incapable to be married (typically, chronically unable to have sexual intercourse) at the time of the marriage;
7. The marriage is prohibited by law due to the relationship between the parties. This is the "prohibited degree of consanguinity", or blood relationship between the parties. The most common legal relationship is 2nd cousins; the legality of such relationship between 1st cousins varies around the world.
8. Prisoners sentenced to a term of life imprisonment may not marry.
9. Concealment (e.g. one of the parties concealed a drug addiction, prior criminal record or having a sexually transmitted disease)

The guilty party (the one with responsibility for having caused the defect in the marriage) is ordinarily disentitled to request a declaration of nullity. The victimized spouse may ordinarily apply for innocent spouse relief. The fact that a marriage was a nullity ordinarily does not prevent an innocent spouse from collecting the financial benefits of marriage, such as the rights to community property, spousal support, child support, and equitable contribution to attorney fees for litigation expenses. I hope this information helps.

TT #46

13 ways to improve your attitude

1. Force a smile no matter how much you don’t want to. It really does make you feel better.

2. Go for a walk. This always helps to clear the mind.

3. Count your blessings. When you find things to be thankful for, you remember how lucky you really are.

4. Picture a soothing scene. For instance, sitting on a beach watching the waves.

5. Sniff a scent. Scents have an amazing impact on your mood.

6. Put on a great song. Not a sad depressing song, a happy (makes you want to dance) song.

7. Get a massage. That can make anyone feel wonderful.

8. See molehills, not mountains. I really need to practive what I preech on this one.

9. Think of your children or your pet. Sometimes diverting your thoughts momentarily to those who love you can instantly make you happy.

10. Play with a animal. It raises levels of serotonin in your brain, which is a mood elevators.

11. Find the humor. There is always a good opportunity for a laugh in most situations.

12. Put a stop sign in your brain. When you catch yourself in the midst of negative thinking, shout, "Stop!" to yourself.

13. Buy yourself flowers. If you’d buy them for someone else, why not for yourself?

Wordless Wednesday...another look back

Are you the cat or the mouse??

There are two types of people in relationships. Those who chase, and those who get chased. Usually, women are the chasers. Why?? I don’t know. What is it that makes us chase or find the need to be chased? I think a lot of it has to do with self-esteem. If someone is chasing you, you feel desired. If they act like they don’t care, you feel unloved. This can actually back fire on the person being chased as it may make the chaser fall into the arms of another if they are getting no response from you. Following me so far? Its ok to throw a little chase out there but don’t over do it. I think the reason people have affairs is not because they have fallen out of love (although sometimes that is the case), its usually because they aren’t getting the attention (or the chase) from their partner. People thrive on attention. Although I’ve found, sometimes you’re the chaser and sometimes you’re the one being chased. It all depends on the relationship. Either way, it can be quite irritating. No two people are alike. Wouldn’t it be great if we could read minds and figure out what makes people tick? I think it all comes down to wanting what you cant have. The more we feel we can’t have something, the more we want it. The more that person doesn’t return your call, the more you want them to call. I wish I was a psychologist so I had the answers to the human psyche, but that just isn’t my forte’. Not to mention, men are a hard breed to understand.

Divorce

Divorce is such a harsh word. Technically, the term means the dissolution of a marriage contract between a man and a woman, by the judgment of a court of competent jurisdiction, or by an act of the legislature. Emotionally, it means my life is about to change drastically. One day you’re happy and content, everything is wonderful in your world, the next day you’re apartment hunting and fighting over who gets the sofa and matching love seat. When you go to the alter before God, you promise to love, honor, and cherish this person forever. How do people come to the determination that one person will make them happy “Until death do us part”? Forever is a long time. I’ve been there twice. Although, honestly, I knew the first one wouldn’t last. It took me a little convincing to go there a second time. That one didn’t work out either. I swore, after paying for the divorce, I would never get married again. However, that was a long time ago and never is a powerful word. I’m at the age now that I don’t want to grow old alone. My kids are almost grown and I want someone there for me. I think in your 20’s and 30’s, you see the world a lot different than when you’re 40. I want to get married again but I never want to go thru another divorce. Wouldn’t it be great if there were a lifetime guarantee on all the decisions we make? For those of you freshly coming out of a divorce, I’m here to tell you that you WILL survive. Life will go on and you will love again. I know, it’s happened to me.