March 13, 2007

Computer Dating....friend or foe.

Being a single parent is hard enough, add dating to the mix, and it can make your life pretty stressful. I’m here to tell you, it doesn’t have to be that way. Give yourself enough time to heal from a failed marriage and/or relationship and then its time to get back out there. I know a lot of people are wary of online dating but it’s the only way to go. There are a lot of great sites you can explore (, Eharmony,,,,, Most of the sites cost money, some don’t. The thing I like about computer dating is that you can get to know the person before you go out with them. Back in the day, you’d go out with friends and hope to hook up with someone decent in your local bar or dance place. 9 times out of 10, it didn’t happen. You either wind up with a one-night stand or a relationship heading for nowhere with a person you wished you hadn’t given your number to. On dating websites, you ask the questions. You put on there what you want and you don’t bother with the ones you don’t. Talk on the phone, exchange e-mails and photos and then set up the first date. After a view exchanges, you can tell if that person is someone you are interested in. A couple suggestions:

1. Give them your cell number, not your home number. Anyone can do a reverse look up and get your home address.
2. Meet in a public location.
3. Call this person at different times of the day. If they are only available during the day or they only e-mail you from work, that may be a warning sign that the person is married or in a relationship.
4. Wait a while before disclosing where you live. There is no hurry, get to know them first.
5. Ask alot of personal questions. Likes and dislikes. Do you have anything in common?? If not, move on. No need to waste your time on someone you dont click with.
6. How do they feel about kids? Do they want them or have them? Do they like them? This is very important. You need to let them know you are a devoted parent first a foremost. If there is going to be a jealousy issue because you have kids, that person isnt the one for you. (voice of experience). Your kids come first, remember that.

It’s my suggestion that when kids are involved, don’t introduce them to the person your dating right away. You have to make sure this person is a potential permanent fixture before you take that step. Keep your parental life and single life separate. It gets way too confusing for kids when there are a lot of people in and out of their life, especially if they are little. Wait 3 to 6 month’s, if everything is going great, then introduce them into your children’s life. Good luck and never give up. The perfect person is out there. I know, I found the right man for me on-line. You can too!!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You found the perfect person ?