January 27, 2009
When my marriage first started to show signs of distress, I had a feeling in my gut I couldnt shake. Its called women's intuition. Men can sense things too but its usually the women that figure it out first. Why? because we know how men think. And the funny thing is, women are just as deceptive as men. Sometimes better. I had an affair too with a coworker but it wasn't until there were problems at home. I wanted to see if I still had it. I did. Nothing became of it except it got really awkward to work with him. The thrill of getting away with something wasnt what it was cracked up to be. I ended up changing jobs. There is always going to be temptation but where is your heart? That's what really matters. If you're thinking about having an affair you need to think long and hard because if you are going to jeopardize what you have, maybe you shoulnt be there in the first place. If thats where your head is then get out before you do it. Show some respect for the person you once loved. Karma is a bitch.
January 26, 2009
OK, so you make it out of the hospital, now what? The cost to feed and diaper them alone is going to be a fortune. Should they get assistance? And if so, how is that fair to the rest of us that need help supporting our children even if there isn't 8 of them?One of the doctors suggested breast feeding (of course it was a male doctor). Now, that is something Id like to see. Can your body even produce that much milk? Two physicians who helped in the deliveries said they had planned in advance for the c-section deliveries but were only expecting seven babies. Oops!! Guess what? There's one more. Once you get to 7, what is one more baby to deliver anyway? All I can say about this ordeal is better her than me. How many players does it take to make a baseball team? Wow, I cant even imagine!!That poor woman will never sleep again.
January 24, 2009
Are you resisting the possibility of the end of your relationship because you're afraid of what will happen? Hanging on to something that you really need to let go of? Being worried about something that might happen is a waste of energy. The more you resist the end of the relationship, the greater your fear can become. The more your fear increases, so does the chance of your fear coming true (or so they say). It's almost like willing it to come true because of your state of mind. Does that make sense? You become threatened and hang on even more. This in turn can push your partner further away. The fear that is holding on to you needs to be fed in order to create more power and control in your life so you need to do the opposite of resisting. You don't want to be perceived as needy. "What will be, will be" as my mother always said, along with "This too shall pass". You don't have to like it, and you don't have to sit around and do nothing. You just have to be willing to accept it. Letting go is strictly a state of mind. I know your heart is involved but you need to listen to your head too. The right state of mind can remove the anxiety and fear so that you can see what is happening and what needs to be done. Sometimes diversion thru hobbies, work, sports (whatever makes you happy), will keep your mind busy and help you to separate yourself enough to deal with what's happening a little at a time and to sort things out. Take it one day at a time but be real with yourself. What is the worst thing that could happen? Why have you become so dependent on someone else that the fear of being alone is controlling your life?
In your heart, be willing to lose your spouse. However, in your actions, do everything you can to create an environment where he or she would never want to leave, if that's what you really want. The moment you accept the situation and are willing to lose your partner, fear loses its power. The tunnel vision disappears and you become able to interact in a way that creates a loving and livable environment. To let go of your resistance and to restore your peace of mind, be willing for your life to be however it is and however it may become. Let go of your demands and expectations for how your life should be and make peace with the way your life is. Set yourself free inside. Then take whatever action you need to make yourself happy. If you and your partner want to work things out, that's great, if it doesn't work out that way, know that you will survive.
January 23, 2009
1. The first thing to do is to call 911 as soon as you discover your teenager is missing. Many people believe there is a 24-48 hour waiting period before you can file a missing persons report. However, this is most definitely not the case, especially when it comes to minors.
2. When calling, be prepared to report your teens name, date of birth, height, weight, identifying features such as glasses, braces, piercings, etc., and the clothes you last saw him or her wearing.3. If you feel your teen is about to runaway, or has recently returned from a few days away, consider suggesting counseling or a family meeting on his or her terms. Your teenager may simply need someone to listen and understand his or her thoughts and feelings.
Remember when you were a kid? I thought, not only could I conquer the world, but that my parents were stupid and didn't understand. I have always tried to keep an open relationship with my boys. I wanted them to be able to tell me anything. The trick to that is, you cant react when they do. I mean, get upset. I had a hard time with this. My son would filter what he told me so I only got a dim picture of the true situation. It wasn't until I got on his Myspace and realized what was going on. Then, I checked out his girlfriend and all of his friends. Its amazing how much I learned. The bad thing is, if they have it in their mind that they are going to do something, chances are they probably will. Your best plan of action is the way you handle it. Its funny, even when my son ran away, he still called to tell me where he was. The drugs and alcohol distorted his way of thinking but not to the extent that he didn't want to worry me. That's when I knew there was hope. Listen to your child and be aware of their actions. The teenage years are hard. The good thing is, the majority of us make it thru with only minor scar's. Don't wait to do something. If you feel your child has run away, act on it. I would rather overreact than have something happen to my child.
January 22, 2009
How do they get away with it? Recently DBF Michael and I attended a Direct Buy open house. We heard good things about it so decided to see what they had to offer. First, we sat thru 2 TV infomercials telling us how wonderful their company was, then we had to listen to a salesman tell us how much money we were going to save. 45 minutes later, he decided to give us the bottom line before showing us yet one more video. They wanted us to pay almost $5000.00 dollars for a membership to their warehouse so we could save money. Not to mention, a yearly fee to stay a member. Wait, let me get this straight. I have to pay them $5000.00 dollars to save $500 on a washing machine? Needless to say, we walked out. They have websites designed to tell you the scam artists from the legitimate companies. I suggest researching any product you buy from any infomercial. I have come to the conclusion that if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Don't be fooled.
January 21, 2009
I know how important it is to take care of your children by meeting their needs, but if you don't take care of yourself, you won't be able to take care of them. Look at it like an oxygen mask. Parents should always breathe into it first before dealing with their children and the struggles that come with everyday living. The theory is that if you don't get enough oxygen, you'll be unable to help your kids. Oxygen can include, but not be limited to: sex, sex, friendship, sex, did I mention sex? or just someone to have dinner with once a week. Whatever it is, don’t let it take a back seat in your life. It’s amazing how good you feel when you take care of your needs as well as your children’s. Have you ever heard the saying, “If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy?” There is definitely a lot of truth to that. Don’t wait, just do it.
January 20, 2009
January 19, 2009
If you are in a relationship and find yourself starved for affection, here are some pointers to help get your significant other in the mood:
Baby your partner for a while. Sometimes all women really need is to feel loved and desired and its no different for men.
Offer her/him a quick massage, nothing fancy or too long, just a brief rub down. It’s amazing how erotic that can become.
Don’t forget the romance. Who cares if you've been together forever why should that change anything?
Wear something that makes you feel sexy...this is for guys too. And women love a man that smells good. That’s a total turn on for me. Feeling sexy will make you want to have sex. You can go from a lady that feels bleak, to a freak in the sheets.
And to those who of you who are the one with the lack of desire. I suggest doing it even if you don’t want to. I know that’s hard and sometimes really out of the question but in the end, you really will feel better. Not to mention, it brings you closer together.
Sex isn’t supposed to be a chore, it was designed as a win/win situation. Of course, that can all depend on your partner too. Just have fun with it and remember to think about your partner on a daily basis. What can you do to show them you care? Let them know you want them. A woman that feels sexy will be sexy, with an emphasis on the SEX part. Remember that.
January 18, 2009
The thing I hate the most is not being about to control my emotions. I go from sensitive too ultra-mega-mondo sensitive psycho woman in sixty seconds flat. If men only knew what we go thru, it might help them to understand us better. Now that's a visual that really made me laugh out loud. Can you imagine seeing a bunch of irrational men walking around bloated and crying when you tell them something isn't right? What really freaks me out is the thought of what menopause will be like. Will I have PMS 24/7 only with hot flashes?? God I hope not. Something happened at work that on any normal day would have either made me laugh or piss me off. That day, however, it made me cry all the way home. Stupid. Why do I let people get the best of me? Have you ever heard of being reprimanded for kissing your boyfriend in the parking lot outside of your work? (I don't do PDA, it was a few pecks on the lips and hugging). No, me either. I figure, if they have time to sit around and watch what other people do on their breaks they either 1.) need to get a life, or 2). definitely don't have enough work to do. I'm not going to let this get to me. I'm going to do what my mother says and consider the source. I refuse to let this ruin my night but I have to wonder, would I have even given this a second thought if it wasn't for the time of the month it happened? Enquiring minds want to know........
January 17, 2009
My ex husbands excuse for not being there when my boys needed him was that he had a drug problem. The kids still needed to eat, its a good thing I wasnt filled with excuses. It wasn't his fault he couldn't hold down a job, it wasn't his fault he left the state and didn't have contact with the boys for over a year. It wasn't his fault he owed over $50,000 in back child support, nor was it his fault he chose a woman over his kids. Who's fault was it then? For so many years I battled the anger I had inside towards him. Then I reached a point in my life that it just didn't matter anymore. Sure, I got tired of always having to deal with things on my own but it made me stronger. If I had it to do over again would I change anything? Not much. Would I want to have been the irresponsible one and lived free without guilt? No way. Times have changed and the boys have grown up. My ex now lives in a world of regret that he can never change. I guess mothers are put in their role for a reason. To love and protect our children. Do we miss out on life because we are at home raising kids as single parents? Absolutely not. When I look at my kids now, I have so much pride in the job that I did, I wouldn't have it any other way. No need to worry boys, Mama's got your back!
January 16, 2009
They say plateaus are natural and occur because your body constantly strives to maintain equilibrium. Its just a matter of being patient and trying to mix it up a bit. I must confess, with it getting dark so early I'm not getting the exercise I should to help me along. I just want to reach my goal weight!! Why must my body be so stubborn? I guess I wont burn any calories complaining about it. If anyone has any suggestions though, besides the obvious, Id really love to hear your feedback.
January 15, 2009
I know alot of you are skeptical about this but think about it. It began on 1/11. How have things been in your life since then? I know personally, this explains alot. Thank God it will be over by Valentine's Day because life can get really exhausting during this time. Just be patient. Its going to happen 3 times this year, which means you're gonna have to take the trials you are going thru with a grain of salt. This too shall pass.
January 14, 2009
Does anyone have any experience in this type of industry? Anything you know about this topic would be helpful and appreciated. Also, if you live in this area and are interested in volunteering, please e-mail me. The link to my e-mail is on my blog.
I signed a contract with them because my ex left the state. After numerous years of trying to collect on my own thru the DA's office, I seen a commercial on TV so decided to call. Its funny, new customers get a toll free number while existing victims have to dial direct and pay the charges. You would think with the amount of money that company collects, they could at least pay for my call. After over 30,000 dollars, I think Ive earned it. It doesn't matter what you do or say, they don't care. The law is on Supportkids side. The number one response, you should have never signed the contract. If the DA's office was doing what they are paid to do, I would have never had to hire those crooks. I understand that the child support division is broken. The number of dead beat sperm donors and unfit mothers is increasing at an alarming rate but nothing is being done. What is a single parent supposed to do? I have yet to answer that question but I do have some very important advise. For those of you considering hiring Supportkids, don't do it! If you look at the comments left on my personal blog under the Supportkids topic, you will see that I am not the only one fed up with this conspiracy. There has got to be another another way to resolve this issue without being ripped off. Learn by my mistake.
January 12, 2009
Divorce can be tough no matter who you are or what time of the year it is. I would think you might want to wait until after Valentines Day too, but who am I? Of course, if you cant stand your partner, a dozen roses wont do you any good. I can see why January would be a good time to file. You want to start a clean slate into a new life, new year, new you. That doesn't happen over night though. First you file, then they're served, next comes court and if all goes well, you're free 6 months later. That gives you a few months to heal before the holidays start all over again. In reality, the vows you take should state "until death or divorce do us part." I think the older you get married, the better chance it has for survival. Especially if you've been married before. Why? You think twice before doing it again. Although some people make it a habit, the majority of us don't like divorce court. Marriage isn't easy and neither are relationships. In the end, we are all just trying to find the happily ever after. I believe you should love like you've never been hurt. Easier said than done? That gets harder as you get older too. What are we to do?
January 11, 2009
One of my biggest inspirations is watching the Biggest Loser. Every week I see those people exercise and eat right, in the end, they have massive results. During the show, they give you tips to help you make the right choices. Its a win-win situation. I originally gained my weight when I got pregnant the first time. That was almost 21 years ago. I only got down close to my starting weight once in that time. I ended up gaining it back because I had no support system with the man that was in my life at the time. He was very jealous and possessive. Having other men look at me drove him crazy. So, I gained it all back and then some. Anyone can change. You have to be ready because if you're not, you will never win. I feel so much better about myself and its made me a happier person.
I encourage anyone that is debating whether they should either try Nutrisystems or lose weight in general, make sure your mind is in the right place. Diets are meant to be followed and if you cheat, you're right back to square one. Who are you hurting with that anyway? No one but yourself. I have been an inspiration to some and that makes me feel good. Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today. If I can do it, anyone can! By the way, I'm down 30 pounds in 3 months. It works.
January 8, 2009
My guilty pleasure confession for the week is that I absolutely LOVE to go to the movies. I have been taking my kids to the show ever since my youngest could sit in the seat by himself. His little feet didn't even reach the end of the chair. There is something about eating popcorn with hot tamales, while drinking an over sized beverage that makes my heart pitter-patter. I love all kinds of movies but scary flicks are my favorite. The problem is, my tolerance level is pretty high. Not many movies have the ability to scare me that easily. The ones that are true stories usually do it better than any slasher film. I like comedies and romances too. Lets not forget action and animation as Finding Nemo was one of my all time favorite films along with Monsters, Inc.
My mother never took us to the show as kids. I don't even think she goes that often now. However, I picked up a love for cinema and have passed it on to my children. I rarely go after matinee prices these days because the cost is ridiculous. BTW, we ventured out last weekend to see The Curious Case of Benjamin Button...WOW!!! What a great movie. I suggest you get the small drink for this one because you're gonna be in there a while. Brad Pitt did an awesome job. The film was well written and its a beautiful story. If you have about 3 hours of time to spend on a Saturday afternoon, go and see it. On the flip side, 7 pounds was quite the opposite. We spent an hour and a half not knowing what in the heck was going on. Id definitely wait for the DVD. I love Will Smith but even he couldn't save this film. I think my calling in life was to be a movie critic. I wonder what you have to do to get a job like that because the critics they have now suck. Don't ever read their reviews, research what the viewers have to say then go with the majority. Wanna go to the movies??? YOU BETCHA!!!
January 7, 2009
Those companies are not designed to help people. They are designed to make money. You see the same people week after week, month after month, year after year going in to buy back their checks and readvance because there is no other alternative. Check into cash and payday advance will even cash your Welfare and Social Security checks. They have no conscience. I know it may seem like a quick fix to a money problem, but in the end its not. I don't care how far behind you are, there has got to be a better answer than this. Companies will work with you if you send them what you can, as long as you send them something. You can buy groceries at the 99 cent store if you have to or collect bottles and cans to recycle. Clip coupons and watch the sale ads. As the voice of experience, its not as easy to get out as they make it seem. My mother bailed me out once, but after a few months, I ended up in the same boat. An ex boyfriend bailed me out the second time and that was it for me. I havent been back. I wish there was a way to paint a warning sign on the entrance so that people will know what they are getting themselves into before they step thru the door. They have contracts with a bunch of fine print that makes everything seem so simple, but what it doesnt say that they feed off of desperate people. Please, don't get suckered in to their scam. Its the worst thing you could ever do. Trust me.
January 6, 2009
January 5, 2009
Every woman has a preference in men. Some like them tall, short, stocky, sweet, funny, bald, long hair, whatever. It takes all kinds. I have always been attracted to bad boys. Does that make them bad for you? I guess it all depends on how bad they really are. I like them to look bad but not to actually be "bad". I love long hair but it doesn't suit all men. My kids think its funny because they are both clean cut and Ive always made sure their hair was trimmed short. That's different though, they are my kids. There is something about a man in black with long hair that makes me gitty inside. Add a sense of humor and the ability to treat a woman like a lady and I am set. Will I think that in 10 years? Who knows. Ive been attracted to the same type of guy all my life. I have dated clean cut men. There is nothing wrong with that but a man in a suit does nothing for me unless its my man. Although, just because a mans clean cut and wears a suit doesn't make him good. Look at all the politicians that have cheated on their wives. My conclusion, you cant judge a book by its cover. You need to read a few pages before you know if your interested. Does that make sense?
January 2, 2009
In 2009 I hope that people will no longer be in fear of losing their homes, that the stock market will do a complete 180, and that people who are unemployed will finally get the job of their dreams. Lets face it, life is tough. Change is even tougher but it can be done. We need to put back in to our economy so that we will all succeed. My son is graduating in June, what does his future hold? Will he be able to go out into the world and find a job so he can survive? Not at this rate. Millions of kids graduate every year and what do they have waiting for them? Even people with college educations cant find jobs. It makes me sad but I haven't lost hope. Our country has pulled itself out of worse situations in the past. By the way, why aren't banks lending money these days? Isn't that what the bail out was for? If everyone has the same mentality as the lenders, this economy is in dire strait for the long haul. 2008 wasn't a bad year for me. Lord knows I have had alot worse but I hope that this coming year will be a great one for everyone. Now, lets get this party started and dont look back. We all have a brighter future...I can feel it!