May 29, 2008

At what age should your teen get a job??

I know when I was young, it was the “norm” for teens to get jobs at 15 and 16 years old. As a matter of fact, I couldn’t drive my car unless I had a job to put gas in it. I don’t know if kids have gotten lazy in today’s society or if we are just spoiling our children by handing over cash, but I think its time my 16 year old got a job. I’m really worried about his ambition level. He filled out a few applications about 6 months ago but, with no experience, he never received any calls back. He will be a senior next year and I don’t know what his plan is after graduation. He once spoke of going into the Military but I think that phase passed. He has talked about being a video game designer but his grades in high school aren’t the greatest. I’m not sure what to do. He hasn’t gotten his license yet so I’m not paying for insurance or gas but I think its time. Should I push the issue? My son has a pretty good head on his shoulders. He is extremely intelligent and has more common sense than most 16 year olds. His main malfunction?? His lack of ambition and the fact that he tends to be very lazy. Any suggestions and am I wrong if I push the issue?

May 28, 2008

TT #63

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13 places to meet men

1. The Local Pub - This may be one of the oldest ways to meet a man, but it still works. Free flowing beer makes it easier to approach your target!

2. The Store - Whether it’s the shopping mall or the supermarket these places are loaded with single people. A bookstore is also very trendy and new age.

3. Online - Either putting a personal on line or answering one. It really works.

4. Church - Ive heard this but never experienced it.

5. Work - If you can get past the gossip, the office is a place where romance can be sparked. Although, I wouldn’t recommend it. If something goes wrong, you still need your job.

6. Newspapers - They have personal ads in the Newspaper just like online. You can also look for social gatherings for singles groups too.

7. College - If you’re taking some classes at the local college this could be an opportunity to meet eligible men

8. Friends - Get your friends to help if you’re serious about finding a man. Attend parties where there is a good mix of singles.

9. The Gym -While you exercise your muscles you can exercise your flirty abilities.

10. Restaurants – Check out the guy in the coroner eating by himself…what do you have to lose?

11. Your Neighborhood – Although, just like work, if it doesn’t work out, you still have to live there.

12. The Beach – Most men wont approach a woman if she is surrounded by friends. Don’t be afraid to make the first move.

13. Starbucks – And you can meet them at all hours. Single men hang out there with their laptops sipping latte’s.

May 25, 2008

Annoying coworkers

Most of you have experienced an annoying coworker. You know that one person you would give anything to tell them exactly what you think about them? Maybe even pop them in the mouth just once. Where do they come from and why is there one in every place you work? Rude people too. I don’t get it. We all work for the same company. Why must you bring your crappy attitude in secondary to a miserable morning and ruin everyone else’s day? What gives them the right to talk down to other people and then give you their “holier than thou” attitude? I think someone needs to develop a type of button or something to warn people ahead of time if they are in a foul mood. It ends up being a domino effect. Do you notice that? Someone bites your head off, which makes you mad, and then you turn around and take it out on someone else or it may even ruin your day. I’m never 100% happy and people that are irritate me (it makes you wonder what kind of drugs they’re on and why aren’t they sharing) but I try to keep my attitude in check and avoid personal contact until I feel safe enough to play nicely. When you’re single and the only one paying the bills, you have to eat a lot more crow than people that have another source of income coming into the household. What I wouldn’t give to just once tell someone what is on my mind and then turn around and walk out. Yes, I know that’s not responsible and I would NEVER do that anyway, but just once Id like to have the option. So next time you feel the need to bite someone’s head off just because you got up on the wrong side of the bed, just once think about how the other person feels before you open your mouth. Silence really can be golden.

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May 22, 2008

Should you keep them?

The last time I moved, I went thru boxes and boxes of old memories and pictures from my past. I understand keeping high school stuff, to a point. What about pictures of your ex's?? Whether they be boyfriends/girlfriends, husbands or wives? I know it is a link to your past but should you really revisit that part of your life once you've moved on? I have alot of pictures with an ex boyfriend I was with for 8 years but alot of them have my children in them. I dont look at them often but Im not sure I want to get rid of them either. Is there a guideline to follow?? If the guy isnt in your life long, does that mean you throw them out with yesterdays mail? I mean, if he was in your life for less than a year...does it really count? Pictures can bring back bad memories as well as good ones. The things we go thru shape us into who we have become today. Whether that is good or bad depends on the person and the situation. Maybe they should all go in a box marked ex's. If you dont have the urge to look in that box for any given time, it should just be thrown away. Although, when Im old and grey, I might want something to help me remember my life. Im very torn on this subject. Any suggestions? Should the things from our past be left in the past or are there exceptions to the rule?

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May 21, 2008

No TT this Week

Hello to all of my blogger buddies. I am extremely busy this week so I will not be participating in TT. However, I will be back next week in full swing!!

May 19, 2008

Being in love and loving someone.

There are 2 ways of feeling when you are in a relationship, in a nut shell. You are either in love or your not. What is the difference and what makes it change? Some people that have been together for years say that they love their partner but they are no longer in love with them. And many times that's the reason for their divorce. To me, being in love is a wonderful feeling but it can be scary too. You get butterflies (well I still do), your every thought is of that person, and you can’t imagine your life without them. I guess that last part is probably what keeps many older couples together too. You get use to someone, like an old shoe, and you can’t imagine living without them. You see it alot in the medical field. One spouse dies and the one that is left doesnt last much longer. I use to work with a girl I envied. She has been married over 25 years and her husband called her multiple times during the day to tell her he loved her. He sent her flowers, brought her lunch, and always told you (the person answering the phone for her) how lucky he was to have her. Wow…you really don’t see that very often. As a matter of fact, I never have but I always thought it was wonderful the way they treated each other. How do you get that type of foundation and keep it up for that long? What’s the secret? I asked her but she could never give me an answer. It just was what it was. They say you should marry someone you like because the sex appeal will eventually fade. Ya, I believe that. Can you be in love with someone without the sex? Yes, I'm sure you can but if the sex goes away, so does the intimacy and that’s a big part of showing each other how you feel. I'm not saying that a relationship is based on sex alone but its pretty important to me. Of course, I'm 41. I may feel different when Im 70. I want to be in love forever without anything going stale. I have seen proof that it CAN happen. Any veterans of marriage out there that still hold a fire after multiple years of matrimony? Please, tell us your secret!!

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May 15, 2008

Surrogate Mothers

My DBF Michael and I went to see Baby Mama a couple weeks ago. Great movie and it got me thinking about Surrogate mothers. That’s an interesting topic and a bit controversial. I did some research and found that a surrogate mother must be between the ages of 18-35 and have previously had a child. The typical surrogate is 28, married, employed, and solidly middle class. I would think that having been a mother already it might make it harder to give up your child. Even though, technically, it isn’t your child. That’s a bit hard to grasp but I have an understanding as to where they are coming from. If my sister couldn’t have children, I would have one for her without thinking twice if she asked. It would make it a little easier because I would still be in the child’s life. Thankfully, I don’t have to undergo that process. My sister has two beautiful children but I was just thinking in general if its something I could do. I know it might make it easier for the families if it’s a clean break like an adoption. The difference in the two though is that the child is made from your eggs so it has your genes. Wow, technology sure has come a long way. The woman in the movie had a hard time because she was single. People looked down on her and she was put on an extended list because of her marital status. I think it’s good for a child to have 2 parents, although I don’t think it’s a necessity. As long as the child is loved unconditionally, it shouldn't matter where they come from or who raises them. I think they really screen the mothers before they become surrogates and less than 1% fail to actually give the child over after birth. Surrogates can be paid up to $20,000 for their services. That doesn’t include all of the other fees. The average total cost for the artificial insemination program is around $40,000. The average total cost for the embryo transfer program without an egg donor is around $45,000, and around $50,000 with an egg donor. I think if you have the money and really want a child, this might be a better option than adoption because the waiting list is so long. Has anyone out their known a surrogate mother or paid someone to be a surrogate for you? If so, how was the whole experience?

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May 14, 2008

TT # 62

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13 ways to save money on gas.

1. Get regular tune-ups - A properly tuned car is more fuel-efficient.

2. Consolidate your errands - Organize your day of errands so you get as much done as possible in one trip.

3. Check tires and alignment - Make sure the tire pressure is always kept at the recommended tire pressure.

4. Get rid of the gas guzzler - Gas is already expensive why make it worse? However, if you love your gas guzzler...try to keep it at the speed limit (easier said than done sometimes, especially when you like to go fast). I need to learn this when Im driving DBF Michaels truck.

5. Slow down - Higher speed can decrease your gas mileage by more than 20% due to wind resistance. (I'm guilty as charged on this one).

6. Avoid jack-rabbit starts - Quick acceleration from a standing stop is a real strain on the engine and burns fuel. In rush hour traffic, leave enough space between you and the car in front of you so that you can keep your car in motion. It's better than stop-and-go driving.

7. Drive at a steady rate of speed - Slowing down and speeding up wastes fuel.

8. Close the windows on the freeway - Driving with the windows down at higher speeds causes a lot of drag, and can reduce your mileage by as much as 10%.(unless you have a car with no air conditioning, then its worth it).

9. Carpool - Some companies even give incentive for this.

10. Use Cruise Control - Its easy to get a heavy foot when you're in a hurry.

11. Ride a bike - I know this doesn't help most but some people are within a reasonable distance from work.

12. Take the bus - My DBF Michael and I took a bus when we went to Long Beach to get around town. It wasn't half bad.

13. Don't drive - unless you have to. Trying walking to the store for that gallon of milk. It will help you get in shape too.

May 13, 2008

Wordless Wednesday

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Guess who got VIP tickets for Mothers day? Thank you DBF Michael!

May 12, 2008

Do toys belong in the bedroom?

Do sex toys really enhance your performance in the bedroom? I know alot of people are into many different things. Some are normal and others are extremely inhuman, (perverted and sick, if you will). Ive been in one of those shops a time or two. Yes, I was embarrassed but when I realized that alot of couples were in there too, well, I loosened up a bit. I enjoy sex like most people. Its a part of human nature. Not only does it release tension but it can be quite fun. When I looked at everything they have to offer, I said to myself..."Why are there so many different gadgets that simulate a man's male organ?" You know the one. I'm not going to say the word because I want to keep this clean and respectable. I just didn't get it unless you are single and need a little "Me" time on a Saturday night. However, having 50 to chose from is a bit excessive. Now, there are some other things that I found to be quite useful. Things that were geared towards a certain part of a woman's anatomy and I must say, it was money well spent. Has it enhanced my sex life??? Maybe, although, I didn't have any complaints before. I don't think if the toy takes a bunch of effort, its worth the stress. Sex its there for pleasure and it shouldn't be considered rocket science. I also recommend creams to stimulate certain areas because they work. For those of you out there that feel that they need a little extra something in the bedroom, do it as a couple. Once you get past the "OMG, I cant believe I'm in here" phase, it can actually be quite fun. It doesn't mean that your sex life needs work, it just means that your willing to be open minded and do a little something different for a change. My recommendation though, don't put anything inside you that isn't attached to a string or cord. You don't want to have to explain that to an ER doctor, believe me. Have fun with your sexuality, and if you don't have a partner, a trip to the store can be just what the doctor ordered. We are all adults here, right?

May 11, 2008

Happy Mothers Day

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To my Mother, Sister, and all of my blogger buddies!

May 10, 2008

Supportkids the sequel

I recently posted an update on my Supportkids drama. I received some great responses and helpful advice I would like to share with those of you in the same boat as I am. Thank you Mommy2 for this info:

She recently informed Supportkids that she is no longer going to use their services. As with everyone else, they refuse to cancel her contract. She contacted the Attorney General in her state and was informed to do the following:

1). Contact the child support agency and have them change everything back to your information therefore removing Supportkids P.O. Box information.

2). Notify Supportkids to let them know that "my contract with you is null and void because you are in direct violation of the court order".

3). Contact every department that is involved, such as the clerk's office, disbursement unit, the state attorney's office, central depository...leave no one out. Be prepared to deal with nasty, rude people in customer service.

4). Google the Attorney Generals Office and State Attorney's Office in your state for the address and phone numbers. Explain your situation, if you have a hard time with anyone, ask for the name and number of the Director of the Child Support Division. Leave a message if possible.

5). File a complaint on-line that the Attorney General’s office on their website. Someone will contact you.

Supportkids rejected her cancellation letter, of course, and sent the Disbursement Unit a direct-deposit form to deposit all future payments to their account in her name with their P.O. Box. She contacted the Attorney Generals office and was told to submit a new direct-deposit along with a voided check and they will change the information back to your information. She also attached a copy of a notarized letter and sent it along with her voided check. BE SURE TO PUT IN YOUR LETTER THAT THEY ARE TO MAKE NO CHANGES TO YOUR CASE WITHOUT YOUR WRITTEN, NOTARIZED CONSENT. The most important thing is to change all the information back to your information. Supportkids has no right to take 34% from any of our funds and they know this and so does your child support agency. They will gladly change your information. DO NOT GIVE UP. IF YOU HAVE PROBLEMS WITH CUSTOMER SERVICE GO OVER THEIR HEADS. Virginia has filed a lawsuit against Supportkids. If you don't stand up for yourself they will walk all over you. Simply ignore them once you inform them (if you want to inform them at all) that you will no longer deal with them. Then check your account with them on-line and I am sure that you will notice that their comments change from contacting the employer to leaving phone messages for the non-custodial parent. Also send a notarized letter to the employer to discontinue giving information to Supportkids. Be prepared for a good fight.

The funny things is, Supportkids gets their money directly from my local DA. If the DA knows better, why would they send the money in the first place?? I hope this information helps. I will be doing a follow on this with more information to come.

May 8, 2008

How dangerous is the Internet?

How dangerous is the Internet to your relationship? You hear stories all the time of people that surf the net and end up in divorce court. Either they meet someone on line or they go places they shouldn't and it ends up in a big fight when the other person finds out. Relationships are hard enough. Why do people take the chance of doing something they shouldn't when they don't know whats on the other end of the computer line? I had someone close to me that left her husband of 15 years for a person she never met. Ive talked to several different people, mostly when I was single, and it seems that the majority of the guys only wanted one thing. I don't use my Instant Messenger feature on my computer anymore because I was bothered constantly by perverts. What has happened to society that we have become so bold to seek out sex on the Internet? Why do some men feel that because a woman is signed on to her IM that she is looking to get laid? I know it can be easier to meet someone online when you're single, especially if you go to the different websites designed to help people meet each other. My concern is for the people that aren't single. Is that considered cheating? If you talk to someone else about hooking up or having sex, are you still being loyal because its all talk at this point? I have a strong opinion about infidelity. I think if a person is talking with someone else via Internet or any other source about having sex, they might as well be cheating. They haven't performed the act.....YET, but given the chance, who knows and how would you feel if your spouse was doing it to you and you found out? Trust is key in any relationship. If you feel the need to seek out other people for personal gratification, maybe you need to assess your own relationship and determine if that's what you want. If it is, don't ruin your future by being stupid, but if it isn't then take the next step. End the relationship before anyone gets hurt. I think you owe it to yourself and your partner. Curiosity isn't innocent when sex is involved. If it would hurt you to find out your partner was doing it, put yourself in their shoes. Am I right? If some of you have questions, maybe this book can help.

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May 7, 2008

TT #61

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13 things about Mothers.

1. We are the only ones willing to kiss a dirty boo-boo and make it feel better.

2. When our babies are sick, we nurse them back to health.

3. We help with homework even when we dont understand.

4. We can mend broken hearts with a kiss and a hug (under the age of 10 anyway).

5. We know how to make our childrens favorite meal to a "T".

6. We can recite the time, pound, ounce, and day of the week that each of our children were born without blinking an eye.

7. If we had it to do over again, we would.

8. Our love is unconditional.

9. We attend every school program and sporting event with pride.

10. We do things for our children even when we are tired.

11. We forgive, forgive, and forgive, especially those of us with teenagers.

12. We can bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan (yep, Ive used this before but it fits).

13. We are magicians as we make piles of dirty clothes on the floor turn into clean folded laundry in a drawer.

May 6, 2008

Anonymous Comments

I can no longer except anonymous comments on my blog because, unfortunately, there are alot of idiots out there that use my comments to spam. I'm sorry for the inconvenience it may be to some of my readers.

Wordless Wednesday

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Happy Mothers Day Mom...Isn't she beautiful?! My Mom has been battling Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma since Mothers Day last year. I'm happy to say she is in complete remission.

May 4, 2008

To love again...

Most adults have been thru heartache at least once in their life. Many of us, more than once. How do you find the strength to love again? Giving yourself to someone completely is a very scary experience. The thought of being totally vulnerable makes many people run. History has blamed the "Run and Hide" theory on the man. If a woman can get a man to marry her it is suppose to be some great accomplishment because men are hard to tame...allegidly. I think its 50/50 nowadays because women have been burned one too many times by men. We are just as scared to committ as they are. However, you shouldnt live out life in fear of being hurt. Running scared everytime you let yourself feel for someone else is no way to live. No two men are alike just as no two woman are alike. I believe the Universe has chosen one perfect person for each of us. Its up to us to find them. It may take months or years but if you give up hope, your paths may never cross. As children, we are told fairy tales by our parents of a knight in shining armor that will come along and sweep us off of our feet to the land of "Make believe" and we will live happily every after. Do you think we should modify these stories to the land of reality or keep that dream alive in our children so that maybe, one day, they will find their Prince Charming? I dont know. If you give up hope, what do you have left? I say love again and long as it takes to find your happily every after. Life is what we make it. Lets do our best to make ourselves happy. Shall we??

May 3, 2008

Homework Headache

Let’s face it, the homework they send home is nothing like what they taught us back in the day. I haven’t been able to help my kids for years. I understand growth and the need to update kids to today’s standards. However, what are the parents suppose to do when their child doesn’t understand what is sent home and neither do they? My coworker was upset this morning because she tried to seek information via the internet to help her son with his homework last night but was unsuccessful after 4 hours of trying. Her son is in 8th grade and didn’t understand the math that was sent home. She tried to surf the net for help but found nothing. With all of the information on the World Wide Web, you would think a person could find something to help that didn’t require your credit card number. Everything she pulled up would claim to be free but when she went to the site, the company wanted to charge for their services. The majority of the stuff today is geared towards computers but what if you don’t have one? The schools say they offer assistance yet when you go to their website, are their e-mail addresses listed so that you can actually correspond with the teacher of your choice? She didn’t find anything. My son is a junior and it is mandatory for him to pass algebra 2 before he can graduate. HELLO…I don’t know about the rest of you but I have NEVER used algebra in my everyday life. Why in the world would it be a requirement? I wrote a letter to the school district but never received a response. My son will need to go to summer school for the extra help so he can pass this class before his senior year. They want the children to learn but don’t have the time to teach them. Something is definitely wrong with the system. The classrooms are over crowded and they are pushing information on the children, in some cases way before they are ready. What happened to no child being left behind? Are the teachers so overworked that they are unable to help a child that doesn’t understand what they are being taught? I have a lot of respect for teachers, don’t get me wrong, but are the behavioral issues they are having with other students having an affect on the children that actually want to learn? I’m not sure what the answer is to fix this dilemma but if anyone has suggestions, I would love to hear them. Also, do you know of any free sites that offer tutoring assistance for children and parents?

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May 2, 2008

Pedi is the cure....

Have you ever had one of those days? You know the kind. You woke up on the wrong side of the bed, that jerk cut you off on the freeway, your boss wants everything now. Well, I had one of those days. Actually Ive had quite a few of those days, but today I decided to do something about it. I went shopping at lunch to try a little retail therapy and it just wasn't working out for me. I decided I needed a little one on one attention. I went straight to the nail shop after work for the ultimate pedicure. All of the shops now have those seats that give you a back massage while they rub your feet. Heaven!! Even on a good day, that is the nicest way to pamper yourself. It doesn't cost that much either and you come out with beautiful toes. That's great for those Summer sandals you just bought. I suggest shaving your legs before you go and try not to wear a dress because your crotch is in direct eye shot from the person working on you. Yep, I was still in my work garb (dress and pantyhose) when I got there but it didn't matter. I just requested a female, took my pantyhose off, and kept my legs closed. There is something about a person rubbing the most overworked part of my body that really puts me in the zone. If you have never had one, I suggest you try it. My feet are extremely ticklish, sometimes I giggle all the way thru but it is SOOOO worth it. A full body massage is the best, but when you're short on cash and don't have much time, treat yourself to a pedicure. It will make the stresses of the day disappear and make you feel like a queen for at least half an hour. Am I wrong??

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May 1, 2008

TT #60

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13 things women should think about while dating.

1. There are two types of males: Dishonorable males and honorable men. Don’t date or marry until you know how to tell the difference between the two.

2. Honorable men are protectors. They will guard your heart, protect your emotions, defend your honor and stand as champions for your well-being.

3. The soul of a woman is fragile. A dishonorable male will toy with a woman’s emotions without any concern or compassion.

4. Good men need to be treated like good men, dishonorable males, need to be let go and left alone.

5. Momma’s boys belong with only one type of woman, their moms.Therefore, for your sake, leave them alone and just let them trot home to their mommies.

6. Self-love, if you don’t have it, pull yourself off the market. Make no mistake about it, if you don’t love yourself, NO MAN can ever love you…no matter how great a man he is.

7. Don’t judge ALL men by one man’s actions, unless you want ALL men to judge you based on the acts of someone from their past.

8. The dismal cycle of breaking up and making up only works out in the romance novels, television shows, and movies. If you are riding that emotional roller coaster get off right now. Your heart, mind, and soul will forever thank you.

9. Do you keep attracting men who are dogs? Check the scent you’re putting out. Men who are dogs are attracted by scent.

10. If your potential partner promises to call you but doesn’t, makes dates and breaks them, shows up late or plays games with your emotions then its time to move on.

11. When a man is trying to find himself, kindly kick him to the curb. He can find you, but can’t find himself? He shouldn’t be looking for love…he should be searching for the map to Mastering Manhood.

12. Expecting a dishonorable male to do the honorable thing is like expecting piranhas not to devour you if you make the mistake of diving into their water.

13. Some males like to hit women. It gives them a sense of power and control. If you give yourself to one of these abusive males, most assuredly you will become a punching bag and a floor mat. It is critical that you learn how to detect and avoid this type of man at all costs.