March 5, 2009

Dating and the single parent

When I got married 20 years ago, I thought it would be until death do us part. 2 kids and 7 years later, it didn't work out that way. You're thrown back into the dating scene with one change, now you have children to think about. I have met alot of men in my life, dated quite a few, and learned some hard lessons. There are alot of men that take advantage of single mothers. These are the guys that come into your life, put you up on a pedestal, and end up being unemployed. You never really think about it in the beginning. There are warning signs but you don't pay attention to them because he makes you feel special. That's just one example. Some men are married, some just looking for a good time, others that treat you like crap. It seems we tend to eat alot of crow because we are single mothers and want to be loved. With us comes alot of responsibility. Its usually easier to date a man with kids because they are a little more compassionate but not always. Bachelors at heart have a hard time converting to the family life. Dinner at 5, baths at 7, and in bed by 9. Mommy doesn't get her alone time until after the kids are in bed. By then, we are usually exhausted. Its a tough role but in the end rewarding.

In my life I have chosen a few "bad seeds." Only a few real regrets but it worked itself out. When your children get older it makes dating alot easier. Not because teenagers are easier to deal with but the babysitter issues doesn't come into play. We are put in the middle quite a bit and its a rough place to be. On the upside, you don't tend to put up with the crap from men that you use to when the kids were younger. You are alot more choosy. I think that's where the problem lies. It doesn't matter how old your kids are, you should always make the right choices. If the guy isn't willing to share you with your kids, move on. I had a guy take me to Disneyland once and didn't invite my kids. He was very self absorbed and immature. Being a parent makes you grow up so its alot easier to spot these men. Why? They act like your children. I'm not sure what the point to the post is except to say, men that take advantage of single mothers are dawgs and don't settle for second best because of your situation. There are way too many fish in the sea (too cliche'?). The Universe has a strange sense of humor sometimes but I honestly think what was meant to be will someday be. And just because you have babies, children, teenagers doesn't mean you shouldn't be with someone that makes you happy. Being a parent isn't a death sentence, its just means when you make a decision its for more than yourself. We all deserve to have fun, date, and find the right "one." Don't let being a single parent stop you from that. If there is a will, there is always a way!



Shanna said...

This was great. I especially liked the line about you know a bad seed because he is more like another kid than a true adult.

generic viagra said...

Start dating as a single parent is very not only for the kid but also for the father.
For those who date a single parent please be patient.

Jony Gibson said...

I was searching the internet to find advice about dealing with this type of situation. This is all very good advice I would love to hear more about your successful experiences about dtaing a single parent.
Dating as A Single Parent