February 20, 2009

What's a mother to do?

My youngest son will be graduating from High School this year and I'm worried. I don't think he has a clue about his future. This is a kid I have had to push all thru school just to graduate. How will he make it thru college? He loves computers and wants to make it a career but I don't think a four year degree is something he can pull off. He has ADHD. That's not an excuse, its a fact. When he is focused on something he likes doing, he can pull of straight A's without a problem. However, when you go to a University, you don't only study what you want, you have to take alot of other classes too. How important is the SAT test? His school never even told us about the testing and would he need that for a trade school? I'm torn because I'm tired. I want him to go and live with his father for a year to see if maybe he can help guide Brad in the right direction. That would mean that both of my kids would be thousands of miles away as his older brother is in the Military. What's a mother to do?

Am I being selfish for wanting his father to take over? I have raised these kids alone, without his help, so why shouldn't he help now? Yet, I feel like its a cop out on my part. Not to mention, Id miss him terribly. When I brought up the subject his reply was, " If you want me to go, I will go." That made me feel terrible. I want him to get to know his father and I want him to succeed in life but I don't know what the right answer is. Do I want him to go? Some days I do and some days I don't. I know as a mother, we have to cut the apron strings sometime but I know he isn't ready to face the world. I think he would do better in a trade school no matter what state he is in. Actually, I think that's the only option if he is going to get a degree in anything. He has never had a job and doesn't have his license because I told him he couldn't get it without a job to pay for his insurance. That didn't push him to do anything. I wish I knew what to do. I have shed some tears over this and I'm feeling alot of guilt. His father would love for him to live with him but he doesn't have the money to support him like I do. Will that be a good thing or a bad thing? What would you do?



After Hours said...

If it were me I would not send my son to a trade school becuase I figured he couldn't make it at college. First give him the opportunity to try at a junior college near your house so if he succeeds he can transfer to a bigger college at that point. If he doesn't make it then at least he was given the opportunity and then he can go to a trade school. Try to give him a chance. You will feel better and happier than if you don't. You won't have any regrets because you tried too and he will be at home so you could keep an eye on him and his work.

This is only my opionion and you have to do the best for yourself. I just believe that kids always deserve a first chance at their dream. I also don't know the struggles you've gone through to get to this point. Focus on possible, keep positive, and try your best. That is all anyone can do.

Lori said...

Thanks for the input...its definitely food for thought:)