January 7, 2008

Children and Divorce

Divorce is nasty enough with the two people that are involved. Sometimes we tend to forget about the children and what they are going thru. Here are a few things to keep in mind while you are trying to readjust to your new life as a divorced single parent:

*Children deserve a lasting relationship with both parents.

*They need to be the #1 status in their parents' lives.

*Parental cooperation throughout the divorce helps both sides.

*Give truthful answers to your children’s questions.

*Give them relief from feelings of guilt and blame.

*They deserve freedom from interparental hostility, playing one parent against the other doesn’t get you anywhere and it tears your child apart.

*Pay attention to their thoughts and feelings.

*Let them have input into the visitation schedule.

*Give them privacy to communicate with family and friends. Give them space.

*Give them freedom from playing the role of messenger. You are adults. Communicate as such.

*Please no coercion to keep secrets.

*And last but not least, give them an understanding of the divorce agreement. Let them know that things will be OK.

If you take all of these into consideration when dealing with your divorce, it will make it a much smoother transition for everyone.

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Chelle Y. said...

That's some great advice. Thanks for it, and thank you for the email.

No Nonsense Girl said...

Great great advices! :)

TorAa said...

You are right and most imperative point is: The kids should allways be in the very center of the parents attention.
I divorced 28 years ago, but the last 26 years we have behaved like brother and sister (positive), B-Days, National Holydays, Christmas etc, have been shared with the children (youngest is now 30)- We are talking about 4 kids and the fact I last month celebrate my silver wedding with my second wife. My first even congratulated us. And the daughter went all the way from Miami to Buenos Aires to celebrate with us.

Too many people lack common sense, to understand the importance of giving their kids a safe surrounding even though they are divorced.

Thanks for your effort and time to help people that really needs it.
It's very important.