January 29, 2008

What if he left you for a man, not a woman?

I know there are many women who have been left heartbroken because their man found love in another woman’s arms. However, what do you do when it’s a man? How do you compete with the opposite sex and then deal with it on a mental level? This happened to a friend of mine. I always knew there was something a little different about her boyfriend, the fact that I grew up with him helped me know him on another level. We were very close, and when he started going out with Paula, I became good friends with her. They went out for a couple years. She always complained that he wasn’t very sexual but she loved him deeply so she did what most women do, stood by her man. They decided to go to Cosmetology School together, which may have been a mistake or a blessing depending on which side of the fence you’re on. Needless to say, he found his true calling and she got her heart broken. I was in the middle, and for a situation like this, that wasn’t the best place to be. I loved them both. He was related to me but she was my best friend. I sat up night after night with her while she cried and he ended up putting up a barrier that literally tore our relationship apart. I tried to put myself in her shoes but how could I? That is something I could never imagine. What do you do, have loyalty to your family or friend? It all worked itself out eventually. He is now living happily with someone that makes him very happy, and she moved on as well. However, it’s been years since this happened and he and I hardly ever talk. We went from seeing each other all the time to nothing for a very long time. I often wonder if I made a mistake being a shoulder for her to cry on when I should have been there for him and what he was going thru. Hindsight is 20/20 they say and I guess everything happens for a reason. I’m just thankful not to have gone thru this myself. I know what its like to love so much it hurts. I couldn’t imagine losing that love to another man. What would you do?

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4 comments:

No Nonsense Girl said...

((((((hugs)))) to your friend

Lori's Light Extemporanea said...

I am just so sorry. That did happen to a friend of mine in graduate school, although, somehow, they remained friends? I didn't understand the whole thing, for sure.

byrningbunny said...

How sad for all three of you. Is it too late to reach out now? And can you start setting your other friend up with some nice, straight men?

Lori said...

She's moved on since then. I just wish that I could have figured out a way to be there for them both. I guess I made a choice and chose a friend over family. He and I are just now starting to talk but he has since moved away so it will never be the same. Oh well, maybe some day we can put this all behind us:)