July 14, 2007

Does divorce permanently damage the children?

OK....I was doing some research and I came across a website that was generated by the non custodial parent. There was a paragraph that caught my eye. It stated:
What divorcing couple nowadays hasn't heard horror stories about what the split might do to their children? Especially if Mom is left to raise the kids alone. A father's absence in the home, according to almost every fathers group, could well spell doom for little boys, little girls and the future of the nation.
Pleeeeeeeeeease. I know divorce is tough on kids. Its hard on everyone involved but to say that it could spell DOOOOOOOOOM for the children is bullshit. Coming from a broken home, Id be the first one to say sometimes it isnt easy. You dont always get what you want, and alot of times you have to do without. However, this is 2007. There are plenty of ways to raise your children to be happy and healthy, while ending a relationship that makes you miserable. I mean really, what do the kids really gain from seeing Mommy and Daddy fight all the time? I think staying together for the children doesn't do anyone any good. I'm a divorced mother of 2 very well mannered, well behaved, well adjusted young men. People always tell me how great my boys are, and I did it without their father. He left the picture years ago, skipping state and leaving his boys behind while he ran from a drug problem. We had already divorced a few years before he left but he was a weak, spineless person, that I had absolutely no respect for. He didn't bother to try and be a father to my children until they were in their teens, after I had pretty much written him off. I let my kids come to their own conclusion. I think if children have love in their life, it doesn't matter who it is raising them. To make a statement so bold as to say DOOM for the children because their is no father, well, I just have to laugh. If your happily married, more power to ya, but if your miserable....don't stay there for the kids. They will be much happier living with 2 parents that are happier apart rather than 2 parents that are miserable and under the same roof. That's just my opinion..........



3 comments:

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

I think you have to worry about how the kids will react. But on the flip side -- and to back up your argument -- my neighbors split up this year. I ran into the mom and kids at the pool two weeks ago and let me tell you, they are happier than I've seen them in a year or more.

Who knows what'll happen long-term, but at least for now, they're all in a better place.

jaypee | enjayneer.com said...

Well, for me, getting a divorce really needs a lot of planning. Also you couples should take into consideration on what would their kids feel about it. Some planners and organizes that help in the recovery are also very helpful. When me and my wife divorced, I let my kids use this c-planner-manager planner from http://4help.to/children. And there was no doubt that they helped my kids.

awhite said...

every case is different...thank God your kids are doing okay..but im sorry they will have to deal with their dads abandonment somebody and just because they are not out shooting up or running away does not mean there is not a problem inside....you cannot base your assumptions on one case..you have to look at them as a collective whole in this matter...further more lets address the elephant in the room here...parents take responsibility that you made a mistake..you married or had kids with the wrong person. P.S. I'm one kid from a divorce and it really screwed me up..I have no kids till this day because I am still working through it. My case is probably severe but I thought people should hear the other said from a childs point of view not the parent. Thank you.