July 23, 2007

Until Death Do Us Part????

As most of you know, I'm a single mother…obviously, as my blog is entitled Single Parents Unite. What you don’t know is, how I got here. I married the father of my children in 1989. He was the perfect guy, he treated me great, he was handsome, a hard worker, and my family loved him. At the time that we got married, we had a 7-month-old child…my oldest son Steven. Yes, I know that isn’t how its done but I knew I was going to marry him. We were engaged and I was waiting for a divorce to be finalized from my first husband (another story, not even worth mentioning). I am not the type of person to get pregnant just because, nor would I marry someone if I didn’t think it was until death do us part (OK..Lets again forget about the 1st marriage, it doesn’t count). My oldest son was born in 88 and my youngest in 91. We had a solid relationship/marriage until the 6th year. Kevin was working funky hours and I was working full time too. With 2 kids, we didn’t get a lot of alone time. We tried for a year to work it out but in the end, it tore us a part. We both ended up turning to other people, I moved out, and then we got a divorce. I had no idea how hard it was going to be. At the time, I was only making $9.00 dollars an hour. I had a 1 & 4 year old that were my responsibility 24/7. There was child support in the beginning but it only lasted a year and a half. I think what got me thru was the love for my children and an unrelenting attitude. I refused to let life get me down and my will to survive and succeed was off the charts. I know a lot of people get consumed in self-pity after the end of a relationship but I’m here to tell you, life is too short. Kids don’t understand grown up problems. You have to be the one to set the example and you need to have a game plan. I think being a mother is the hardest thing I’ve ever done but the most rewarding. I have battled my ex husband, his employers, the DA’s office, and child support agencies to get help with funds to help raise my children. I have also gone through teething, terrible 2’s, 3’, and 4’s, first days of school that didn’t go as planned, battles with schools over a child that has ADHD, no money for school clothes, baby sitting problems, sports, stitches, broken hearts, acne, speeding tickets, drugs, suicidal girlfriends, ditching school, backyard fights, and runaways. I did it alone and I survived. That’s what mothers do and they do it with little to no help and with no time off. Be honest with your kids and take it easy on yourself. Things don’t happen over night. When thing get tough I always remember what my Mom told me while I was in labor with my first child, swearing never to have another child....."THIS TOO SHALL PASS".

1 comment:

assistive technology said...

I was raised by a single mother. Sometimes it was hard, but she always managed to make things all right. "This too shall pass" was also her motto.