July 19, 2007

From one single parent to another....

Things that you need to remember as a single parent:

1.Deal with your own reality. If a divorce led to the single-parenting you will experience grief, anger, guilt, loneliness, and despair (even if divorce was the right decision).

2.Get help..Start by acknowledging that you can't do it all and you can't do it alone.

3.Eliminate all unnecessary chores. Get life down to absolute basics.

4. No matter how busy you are, spend some part of every day alone.

5. Keep a diary to clarify your thoughts and track your progress.

6.You can join other single parents. Parents Without Partners is one

7. Accept the fact that your children will react to the lack of a father. Do not be surprised by questions, behavior problems, school difficulties, or sadness.

8. Let your kids know your feelings. If you are sad tell them. Families that can discuss and deal with feelings are healthy families. Ive never lied to my boys about anything, including finances.

9. Don't get your children involved with persons you are dating unless you are pretty sure it's going to be a permanent relationship.

10. Don't badmouth the children's father.

11. Keep a sense of humor.

12. Take advantage of what we now know about handling stress. There are specific stress-reduction exercises like meditation and imaging which can help diminish our stress levels.

13. Get counseling help if you need it. How do you know if you need it? If you are having difficulty functioning or relating to your children, get help.

14. Enjoy your child. Cherish the time you can spend together. I took my kids everywhere with me. Im happy to say I have a strong relationship with both of them.

15. Remember children are resilient and they can thrive living in many different kinds of families. Don't waste any precious time worrying about your single-parent life. This is your life--and your child's life--accept it and live it fully!

I hope this helps. If Ive missed something, I am always open to suggestions:)

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