May 8, 2008
How dangerous is the Internet?
How dangerous is the Internet to your relationship? You hear stories all the time of people that surf the net and end up in divorce court. Either they meet someone on line or they go places they shouldn't and it ends up in a big fight when the other person finds out. Relationships are hard enough. Why do people take the chance of doing something they shouldn't when they don't know whats on the other end of the computer line? I had someone close to me that left her husband of 15 years for a person she never met. Ive talked to several different people, mostly when I was single, and it seems that the majority of the guys only wanted one thing. I don't use my Instant Messenger feature on my computer anymore because I was bothered constantly by perverts. What has happened to society that we have become so bold to seek out sex on the Internet? Why do some men feel that because a woman is signed on to her IM that she is looking to get laid? I know it can be easier to meet someone online when you're single, especially if you go to the different websites designed to help people meet each other. My concern is for the people that aren't single. Is that considered cheating? If you talk to someone else about hooking up or having sex, are you still being loyal because its all talk at this point? I have a strong opinion about infidelity. I think if a person is talking with someone else via Internet or any other source about having sex, they might as well be cheating. They haven't performed the act.....YET, but given the chance, who knows and how would you feel if your spouse was doing it to you and you found out? Trust is key in any relationship. If you feel the need to seek out other people for personal gratification, maybe you need to assess your own relationship and determine if that's what you want. If it is, don't ruin your future by being stupid, but if it isn't then take the next step. End the relationship before anyone gets hurt. I think you owe it to yourself and your partner. Curiosity isn't innocent when sex is involved. If it would hurt you to find out your partner was doing it, put yourself in their shoes. Am I right? If some of you have questions, maybe this book can help.
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1 comment:
One of my readers on Divorce360 had this to say:
over 50% of the divorces I handle these days have an issue with the internet as the reason, or part of, why they are divorcing - from porn to chat, even online games....have destroyed far too many marriages.
Getting into an online "relationship" with someone of the opposite sex is emotional cheating. The excuse is "they were easy to talk to and understood all my problems unlike my wife/husband" of course they are going to be sympathetic - they only hear one side and have ulterior motives for talking to you in the first place. conversations about problems aren't easy to have with a spouse - but to make your marriage work you have to have them.
Just like alcohol, gambling, smoking etc - the internet can be an addiction - it is a placebo for something else you need - and if not done in moderation - can cause irreparable damage.
I don't thing married people need "myspace" or "face book" or need to be chatting into the wee hours of the morning with online "friends". When married, your life should stay in the real world.
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