June 23, 2008

How do you get back out there?

After a break up or divorce, how do you get back out there? What can you do to ease the fear and let yourself love again? The answer is, you just do it. There is nothing that heals your wounds except time. However, waiting a year or 2 to completely heal is a waste of time. Dating is not only fun but it helps you stay distracted. I wouldn’t rush into a long term relationship because that would definitely be a mistake. Surf the dating sites and put yourself out there but be truthful to the person you are thinking about dating. Let them know that you aren’t looking for a relationship, you just want to have fun. Of course, most men will think you are just looking for a booty call if you make that statement, so watch your wording. If possible, date more than one guy at a time. You also need to be careful that you don’t fall for someone right away. Rebounders are great in helping you make that first step but your heart is very fragile so be careful. There are no rules, it all depends on you. I wouldn’t take longer than 6 months of solitude though, it isn’t healthy, and as far as I’m concerned, is a waste of time. Unless, you were married for a very long time, then, it might take a while especially if you lost a spouse to death. Know yourself and don’t be afraid. Just do it. You will never find the right man if you don’t look. Rarely does Prince Charming come knocking at your door. Remember, you need to give him directions for that. Life is a journey, not a destination. Am I right?

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Dillo said...

As a (now)single male, I disagree. Been 3-1/2 years since the end of the marriage and its been a great time of healing and allowing Christ to be my support---and to grow the most comfortable and joy filled in my singleness than I've ever been. Good time to bond with the kid too! I say WAIT and don't rush back in.

Also---do the girls really feel comfortable with that "Just wanna have fun" stuff? Just askin.

Lori said...

Im glad that you had some self discovery on your journey. However, yes...girls just wanna have fun too. Just like the boys.