July 10, 2008

Wedding rings and divorce

Ive noticed a number of people still wearing their wedding ring while going thru a divorce. Why? If you have come to the conclusion that this is the end, you are in the proceedings to make it final, why wear a symbol of the unity? I know divorce is hard on most people. Some more than others. To me, the ring symbolizes a marriage two people share until death do you part. When that isn't a reality, then the ring needs to be put away. This is especially important if you plan on dating any time soon. I don't know about other women but the ring finger is the first place I look before talking to a guy. True, alot of men don't wear rings, but if I see one, that means this pursuit isn't going anywhere. Even if the guy was coming on to me, I still wouldn't do something like that. It's all about morals. Maybe its a closure thing. The person that didn't ask for the divorce might have a harder time taking the ring off. I guess to dictate what the rules of the game are is stupid because the game is different for everyone. What works for one cant work for us all. Although, I strongly suggest that if you are going thru a divorce and you're ready to put yourself out there, leave the ring at home. Better yet, wait until your divorce is final. Not only does wearing a wedding ring while your going thru a divorce show you're not ready, you wont even be a consideration by most singles. One of my fellow bloggers did a video blog about being ready to date. The first thing I noticed was the ring on his finger. I told him, before he puts himself out there, he needs to ditch the ring. He was a bit surprised that I noticed but stated that he wouldn't take it off until the divorce was final. That's fine. Then you're not ready to date yet. You cant open one door until you close another. Its not fair to your future prospects nor to you. Give yourself the time you need to heal, put the ring away. If it brings you comfort then keep it someplace safe but take it off your finger. It no longer represents what it originally did. Close the door and move on. Am I being too harsh?

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4 comments:

Bellymoon said...

No, I agree with you. anyone who wants to have a date after divorced must be take her/his ring off. I did the same thing as you said when i started dating with the guys from seeksingleparent.com. It means this guy can start his new life again for me.

The Gal Herself said...

I agree with you 110%! As a woman who has never married herself, I have dated and/or been approached by separated men. For me, if the couple is no longer living together and lawyers are involved, the marriage is over, so I wouldn't think twice about dating a separated man. But you are SOOOOOO right -- if he's still wearing his ring, even if he and his soon-to-be-ex-wife are en route to divorce court, then in his mind, he's still married. And then he's a potential heartache I don't need!

Harmony said...

I agree with you too! When I was getting divorced, my ring was the FIRST thing to come off...

Jitesh said...
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