December 24, 2007

He chose the new woman over the kids

I left my ex husband 14 years ago. My oldest was 4 soon to be 5, and my youngest was almost 2. We had some marital issues and I felt that was the best decision. We agreed he would give me money until we decided to file for divorce. It was pretty simple. He had a funky work schedule but spent time with the kids when he could. Then, he got involved with a woman I didn’t care for at all. She didn’t work, she had 3 kids, and she was a drug addict. The guy had no backbone and she was quick to jump on that. She convinced him not to give me child support but rather, wait until I took him to court. So, I filed an “Order to show cause” and got him in to court PDQ (pretty dam quick). He was giving me $700 willingly, until she (the devil woman) talked him out of it. When we went in front of the judge, he was ordered to pay $1250. That was a blessing but the issues were just beginning. He stopped coming around his kids. He would call, make phony promises, and left me to clean up the mess and broken hearts. My oldest son would sit by the window begging him to show up, and he didnt most of the time.They ended up getting married. She lost custody of her kids due to the drug use and instability in her life. My ex lost his job and my whole world took a change for the worse. He remained unemployed for years. They would find a place to live, get evicted and wind up in jail for domestic abuse or drugs. I even had Southern California Edison try to attach his unpaid electric bill to my account. I had to show proof of our divorce. After years of this, his wife decided she needed to clean up her act. She left the state. He followed not long afterwards. Never considering his children. He didnt even say good-bye. They went a year without hearing from him. What I don’t understand (and maybe its because I’m a mother), how could you ever choose someone over your children? He still lives in Tennessee today. They have been unhappily married for 12 or 13 years. He cries the blues now about the mistakes he’s made but its too late. It seems that its easier for a man to pick up and start over, leaving the kids behind, than it is for the woman. It’s a shame. It seems to hurt everyone involved. I guess in the end, we reap what we sew, don’t we?

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2 comments:

Crazy Working Mom said...

He sounds a whole lot like my dad!

Hope you and those wonderful boys have a very Merry Christmas!

Tisha @ CrAzY Working Mom

viamarie said...

Good decision you made.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! May our world this coming year, and all the years to come, be blessed with peace, love, joy and bountiful blessings.