December 17, 2007

Single mothers by choice

I was doing some research online when I came across a website for single mothers who choose to have children without the help of a man. Several thousand single women, predominantly in their thirties and forties, have joined Single Mothers by Choice. I am all for women’s rights and I know a lot of us wait until later in life to have kids, with or without a spouse/partner, but I’m here to tell you, it isn’t easy. I think in a perfect world, children should be raised by both parents but in today’s society, that just isn’t a reality (most of the time). However, had I known when I got married that I would end up raising my children on my own, I probably would have decided not to have children. I love them, please don’t get me wrong, but doing it on your own is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. Kids are demanding and your responsibility 24/7. When Mom is sick, no one takes care of her. If she doesn’t have sick time at work, guess who gets up anyway because she has 2 mouths depending on her to feed them? I’m sure that later in life you are more responsible than in your 20’s, probably ready to take on a task as grand as this, but I believe childbirth should be a shared experience. I’m sure there is nothing lonelier that delivering a baby on your own. People that have no children don’t understand the awesome responsibility that they really are. I wish there was a way to teach teens this as well. It is just something you cant put into words or describe in detail, it’s an experience that you have to live to understand. My children have brought me many years of joy, and still do, but it has never been easy. It’s always been a struggle, mostly financially. And as they turn into teenagers, definitely mentally. I’m not one to knock a woman’s right to choose, that’s none of my business, as it’s not my life. I’m just stating that before you rush off and have a child by yourself because your biological clock is ticking, really give it a lot of thought. Children are forever and once its done, there’s no going back.

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1 comment:

Heidi said...

Well I do agree especially about the childbirth part. But now that I am single and have been since 2001, although I have dated, I am reluctant to commit again. It just seems like it would be MORE work to take care of a child AND a husband. (Or maybe I am scared of the heartbreak, who knows). I would like a DBF though. :)