December 6, 2007

TT #40


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13 ways to spot a liar (this is good for use with teens & cheating spouses)


1. Avoiding direct answers - Liars sometimes imply answers instead of denying something directly. This allows them to avoid lying by not making admissive statements.


2. Defensive - Guilty people usually get defensive at the first indication of an accusation whereas honest people will get offensive.


3. Eye movement - The eyes of dishonest people will tend to move around a lot to avoid meeting your gaze. However, staring at your eyes for prolonged periods is also an indicator of a lie.


4. Pupils - Pupils will dilate when a lie is told; this is due to the adrenalin being pumped into the body. This factor will also depend on the severity of the lie. Small white lies may not dilate the pupils.


5. Stance - Liars often feel uncomfortable standing directly in front of an accuser and may avoid standing with their shoulders squared to yours. Instead, they might stand slightly to the side or with their shoulders offset.


6. Expressions - Expressions are limited to the mouth, e.g. if a liar fakes a smile, he will only use selected muscles whereas a natural smile utilizes muscles over the whole face.


7. Palms - Liars often try to hide the palms of their hands. This is also instinctive. Hands behind the back or in the pockets are also positive indicators.


8. Objects - Liars will play with objects in their possession such as a handbag, bracelet, mobile phone or hair. They may also put an obstruction between themselves and the other person, often something as simple as a coffee cup. This is a subconscious way of attempting to ‘barricade' themselves to relieve the tension of lying.


9. Tone - A liar's tone of voice is often not consistent with his/her gestures or statements.


10. Sarcasm - Dishonest people will often use sarcasm when answering accusations.


11. Answers to questions - A liar uses your words to answer questions, e.g. Q: "Did you have sexual relations with this woman?" A: "I did not have sexual relations with that woman."


12. Too many details - Dishonest people will add unnecessary detail to the conversation; this is an attempt to comfort the other person.


13. Nonsensical - Often liars' words won't make sense and their grammar may be incorrect. This is because a liar's mind is racing in search of a convincing answer and the signals to the mouth are sent incorrectly.



39 comments:

Lori said...

Dang, I do most of these things when I'm telling the truth (smile).
Guess I'd better watch that, huh?

Robin said...

Very comprehensive list. I wonder if my 6.5 year old does any of these when he says he has no homework/has cleaned his room/etc. Hmmm...

Ornery's Wife said...

How interesting. I wish I could remember those when I am buying a used car!
TM
(my TT is up, stop in and visit!)

Infinity Goods said...

A lot of signs, you'd think we could catch all of them. Nice list.

ellen b. said...

Very interesting facts about lying. So much easier to live in the truth. Happy TT to you...

Nicholas said...

I was taught at police training school about #3. People who look you in the eye for long periods are probably lying. Everyone thinks that looking away from a person’s gaze indicates guilt, so liars will over-compensate by looking you in the eye a lot. Natural behaviour, of course, is to vary between looking someone in the eye and looking away.

Mind you, there are many other explanations for behaving in these 13 different ways, so people trying a little bit of lie detection better make sure that no other reason applies before accusing someone of lying. Wrongly accusing someone of lying on the basis of a bit of amateur body language watching is a good way to damage a relationship, possibly beyond repair.

FRIDAY'S CHILD said...

These are great lists. Though I don't have a teenager, these lists could still help. Thanks for sharing.

The Mocha Mom said...

Good list, not sure why someone would be smiling when lying, but I am sure some do. I am up too.

forgetfulone said...

Very interesting!

Greatfullivin said...

I would have a time just remembering how to spot a liar. I hope I don't need to know these. LoL. Have a great TT

WorksForMom said...

Lori, have I ever told you how wise you are. LOVE this list. So true, so true.

No Nonsense Girl said...

Great list sweetie!!! I know how to spot them well too!!!

I bought the crockpot :)

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

I'm with Robin, wondering how many of these signs I will find in my kid... Even without them, it's hard to lie to me and get away with it. I always somehow find out the truth. Weird, but I'm not arguing!

Happy TT, babe!

Crazy Working Mom said...

This is VERY useful information no matter how big or small the situation.

Thanks for posting.

Tisha @ Crazy Working Mom

secret agent mama said...

I can SMELL a liar, too! :)

Mine's up here!

Sandy Carlson said...

You are describing the former minister of my church.

Thanks for the information. That was interesting.

Jenny McB said...

I used to tell my HS students that I knew they were lying b/c they were looking away from me when they were telling me something. Then they would look right at me, wish I knew about the pupils and the smile. This is good list.

I just put you on my google reader b/c everytime I come here on Thursday I end up reading the rest....the pms post was good. Can't wait to get that over with. I don't even want to be around myself then!

Chelle Y. said...

You must have been a good mother... those boys probably did not get away with lying in your home! Haha!

I have been good, just busy. I need to catch up reading your blog.

Natalie said...

Oh my gosh! I think you just described my dad's cheating wife to a T! That woman is awful! But he stays with her. But he's described her actions and behavior and he always knows when she's being unfaithful because of some of the things on your list. Sad thing is...he deserves it for being a jerk to my mom...what goes around comes around and now he's married to someone worse than he was when he was married to my mom.

My Thursday Thirteen is up too! :)

Denise Patrick said...

Interesting list. I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, but if they seem too nervous, it's a dead giveaway.

Happy TT!

*Rae* said...

Great list I will have to keep those in mind thanx for sharing Happy TT

Kate Davies said...

Wow! This list will be very helpful next time I have to write a character who's being "less than truthful". :) Thanks for the great TT!

Shelly Kneupper Tucker said...

LOL! I need to bookmark this page so that I can use it when I have my next need to lie! Do pathological liars do these things, too?
This Eclectic Life

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

Great list. I'll try to remember all of these. Have a great TT. :)

Darla said...

Of course, now that I've read this, I'm going to be very self-conscious about sending the right signals, so it's going to look like I'm lying when I'm not. LOL

AnGlOpHiLe FoOtBaLl FaNaTiC said...

The eye movement thing made me giggle something fierce. My whole life my mom would say, "Look me in the eye and tell me that." Even if I was telling the truth, that eye thing weirded me out.

Joely Sue Burkhart said...

What a class in nonverbal communication! Thanks for the list!

Malcolm: said...

#8 reminded me of a scene in "The Maltese Falcon" when detective Sam Spade (Humphrey Bogart) is questioning his client Brigid (Mary Astor), who is a habitual liar. When he brings up the name of one of her cohorts, she starts straightening things around the apt. and poking the fire.

geek-betty said...

hmmm i could have used this list with my last boyfriend.

http://bettythegeek.wordpress.com/

Sandy Carlson said...

Back for another read, Lori. The too many details characteristic really intrigues me!

Nap Warden said...

Well, I got it now...will I remember it when the babies are teenagers?

Tilly Greene said...

Someone told me when I was younger that you can tell someone is lying if you see the white of their eyes beneath the iris - it was all too much to handle for me. Easier not to lie :-)

Grphter said...

Yeah, I'm with lori, I do these all the time...Wow, another truth/lie I've learned about myself... ;)

katherine. said...

I've seen similar lists....except for 11...which I do all the time...

Xakara said...

Do you think someone would take offense if I printed this out and asked them questions while having them stand beside it so I could check off the behaviors?

Yeah, me too. *shrug* Ah, well.

Thanks for the info. I know that since learning #3 years back I always use it when watching interviews and press conferences. I just can't help it anymore. LOL

Happy TT

~X

The Gal Herself said...

Love #4 because you can't fake that. This was a fascinating TT (and thanks for visiting mine)

Christine d'Abo said...

Oh this is great information to have. I'm writing this down so I can use it in some of my writing. Fantastic list!

Damien said...

I am so bad at this. When I find out someone lied to me it is always a huge surprise. Happy TT.

Nicole Austin said...

Interesting list! Sometimes people do those things because they are uncomfortable with confrontation or a situation.