September 17, 2007

How long should you wait??

Wouldn't it be great if there were quick cures to the "break-up blues"? Unfortunately, there are no simple remedies, and at times, uncomfortable feelings also come along for the ride. Regardless, some people may put a lot of blind faith into certain defined "break-up rules" in the hopes that they will feel better and move on soon. For example, have you ever seen the show Sex and the City??(I own the whole set) Charlotte believed that it takes half the total time you went out with someone to get over him or her (although I’ve heard that rule before). In reality, however, moving on itself has no clear-cut rules, and can often be a difficult process. I think it all depends on the feelings you have/had for the person you were with. I’ve been trying to help my friend get over her break up and I know that with some men, I could just move on without being fazed…however, if love is involved, it’s a little more difficult. I’m not a very patient person. I don’t have time to wait around for my heart to catch up, I just want to move on so I tend to do whatever it takes to make the hurt go away. I think hanging out with friends is an awesome cure for the blues. There is nothing like going dancing with friends and having men buy you drinks. If nothing else, it’s an ego boost. Is it the right thing to do?? I don’t know, and I never claimed to be an expert, but sitting around feeling sorry for yourself and reminiscing about old times doesn’t work and I think it’s more destructive than constructive. How long should you wait before you sleep with someone?? Is there a rule on that one too?? Alot of women and men use sex as a tool to mend their broken heart, but does it really work? Can you replace the emptiness with a night of meaningless sex? I dont know...its kinda of like getting drunk to kill the pain. The next morning, the hurt is still there. Any suggestions as to how I can help my friend cope with her loss??...Enquiring minds want to know….


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2 comments:

sammy said...

It depends. Usually 3 months. I believe sex is based on love. I don't want to have sex with someone I don't love. While it usually takes me around 3 months to fall in love in with someone, so I believe 3 months is my answer. In May I met a nice guy online through wealthyromance.com, I slept with him 3 months later because I found I love him.

Unknown said...

ya know...the truth is you are not alone in this situation....
all we can do is remember that those who have the courage to love...must also find the courage to suffer-or you-I mean "she" could just call the guy...