November 6, 2007

Did you fall in love with a cheater?

A cheating person can only hide their cheating ways for so long before the lies get out of control and they get caught. The longer a person cheats, the higher probability their partner will find out. In this busy day and age, it is difficult to carry on more than one relationship. However, with inventions like the Internet, accessibility to willing partners has become easier than ever. There are various ways to tell if your partner is cheating. If they exhibit any of the following signs, it may be time to take a closer look:

He/she spends less time with you. They usually, but not always, use the excuse of working long hours, extra meetings and dinners or other unexplained functions so he/she will have time with the “other” person.

He/she isn’t as affectionate as they use to be. Your sex life is almost non-existent because of their other commitments. They dont want to cuddle, watch a movie, hold hands or do many of the touchy things he/she used to. I know, with the father of my children(my second husband), our sex life went from daily to weekly overnight. We were together for 7 years. Of course, I didn’t find out about what he was doing until well after I left him. In hindsight, it was pretty clear. I knew something was wrong but couldn’t put my finger on it.

He/she changes their physical appearance. They may start buying new clothes, get their hair cut in a new hairstyle or begin working out because he/she wants to be attractive to the other person in their life.

Changes in their car. The passenger seat in the car has been moved or there is an unknown hair on the car seat. Perhaps the radio station is on an irregular station because that’s what the other person likes.


A cheater may become more short-tempered because of the guilty feelings as a result of the infidelity. Things that usually did not bother him/her suddenly start bothering them. They can frequently become defensive when questioned about their whereabouts. They may turn it around to accuse you of being insecure, possessive or snoopy.

He/she may smell of perfume, smoke or alcohol, especially if he/she hasn’t had time to change after meeting with the other person. I know this sounds cliché but its true.

Cell phone changes. He/she wont leave their telephone turned on when he/she is with you because his/her other woman may call them. He/she may leave the room to have a telephone conversation or say strange things after he/she picks up a message from their lover. Watch for calls in the middle of the night. If you have access to their telephone bill, check it closely. Look for repeated unknown numbers, times and durations.

Computer usage changes. He/she may utilize a computer to seek out partners or communicate with them. If your partner is on the computer for long periods of time at night and then closes the door so you won’t see them, he/she may be communicating or chatting with their love interest.

He may also have changes in spending habits. You can tell if your partner is cheating if he is suddenly always broke. It's because he is spending all of their money on the other person. This is more common with men, which is why I left out the "SHE" factor. Watch whether he is paying with cash and making more frequent ATM withdrawals to cover his paper trail. Check any receipts, bill’s or stubs that you may have access to.

Once you know if your partner is cheating or not, make sure you have a plan of action that you will take after you accuse them. You need to decide whether it’s time for you to move on or whether this relationship may be worth a second chance. Without evidence, they are just idol threats and accusations. He/she can turn it around to try and make you look like a fool...don't fall for it. Go into battle armed!



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8 comments:

Emmyrose said...

I love this post, it is very insightful and I can relate to it.

Mind if I grab it? and post in my other blog?

Lori said...

Not at all my friend!! I want to help as many people as possible and I know I've borrowed a few from you;)Thanks for stopping by. Its always nice to see you.

Emmyrose said...

Thanks Lori :)
Btw, i got something for you here:
http://emmyrose1028.blogspot.com/2007/11/blog-of-month-award.html

Anonymous said...

What's up with all the cheating posts ?
That seems to be a recurring theme on your blog lately...and we don't hear much about DBF Michael these days.....

Lori said...

My DBF Michael is wonderful, we just celebrated our 1 year anniversary. However, this blog is not about him, its about the trials and tribulations of being a single parent. I had someone come to me with a problem so these blogs are for her and anyone else that is having an issue with this. My DBF is very understanding and doesnt take any of this personal. Thanks for the input though:)

Anonymous said...

Maybe you should make your blog more about your DBF Michael-he sounds like a hoot !!

Unknown said...

HAPPY 39TH B-DAY LORI !!!!
love ya true !!!
DBF Michael

Qtpies7 said...

Those are all very true. I could add a dozen more.