November 14, 2007

Dont let the Holidays get you down

In my opinion, if you ask any woman married, single or divorced about the holidays, you may find most women want to ‘divorce’ themselves from the madness, the stress, family drama, shopping and the preparation that goes with it. For divorced women, the holiday season can be even more of a headache with heartache included due to awkward family situations. It’s always harder the first year after a divorce. There is more often than not a sense of loss, especially if you have been married for any length of time and the “norm” was to go to HIS family’s house for Thanksgiving, Christmas Breakfast, or News Years Eve. The kids generally keep the same tradition, maybe some modifications if you have moved or if court orders specify something different, but usually they follow thru with the other parents family and there is no need for adapting to anything different other than one parent is missing. If divorced women are alone without family and friends, they should get out of the house and volunteer to help others that are less fortunate. By giving a little of yourself, it may help clear your mind and offer some perspective on your situation. Don’t shy away from invitations from friends and married couples. The important thing is to avoid being alone, which may lead to depression. If an opportunity presents itself to hop on a plane or get in the car to visit someone, do it. While it might not be a traditional way to spend the holidays, there is nothing wrong with change. Think of it as a new adventure and make the most of newly acquired free time. You can get thru this next month and a half, just have the right attitude and don’t let things get you down. I found that wrapping presents is a great way to relieve stress and help you get into the spirit of things. Even if its hard, try staying positive for the kids. It’s not their fault that we got divorced and all kids love Christmas. You’re only human, I know, but remember happiness is a state of mind. Think positive and do your best to make the most of any situation.

4 comments:

Chelle Y. said...

I am so thankful that my family lives nearby, so other than my husband not being there, not much has changed for us.

grace said...

I can imagine how hard it must be for divorced women to keep up with the tradition especially if kids are involved. How do you spend your Thanksgiving every year?

Lori said...

This year we will be spending Thanksgiving with my boyfriends family but I havent had a solid tradition since I was married. We just go with the flow. My ex husband moved out of state years ago so the boys have always spent all the holidays with me. In the beginning, however, it was a little tough. Christmas was crazy, to say the least, and a very long day for my boys. Although, they got presents from 3 different places:)

Matt-Man said...

My ex and I havent really had too many problems in this area. My son and I go down to my family's Christmas Eve bash and then I stay all night Christmas Eve with him and the ex so we can watch him open his presents Christmas morning. Holidays can suck, but I hope you and everyone else has a good one this season. Cheers!!