November 3, 2007

Which age child is the hardest to raise??

That is a difficult question to answer. I became a single mother when I had a 1 and 4 year old. Not to mention, the 1 year old had ADHD. I couldn’t go to sleep unless he was already sleeping because he would get up, after I went to bed, and turn on all the lights, TV, and open the fridge. He even took my iron out and burned my carpet once. Then there was the fact that I couldn’t take them anywhere because it was always a big deal. They would fight, Brad wouldn’t sit still, having to take everything but the kitchen sink whenever you went anywhere. That was tough. My youngest didn’t sleep thru the night until he was 18 months old. From ages 5 to 12, I don’t remember any real significant problems except in school. I think all of Brads teachers had me on quick dial and I got calls on a regular basis but there wasn’t any problems at home. I took my kids everywhere,well almost everywhere, because babysitters were hard to come by. My oldest son was an angel. He never gave me guff, he always did what he was told, and he helped with his little brother without being told to do so. He was very protective of him. Then he turned 16. He always did exceptional in school. He started hanging out with the wrong kids and getting into drinking and drugs. I went thru lying, drugs, alcohol, sneaking out, getting arrested, suspension from school, and psycho girlfriends. Although, his grades never fell, which I thought was funny. My youngest just turned 16 this month and it, so far, has been a very different experience. It is a constant battle regarding his grades but everything else has been fairly easy. He doesn’t care what his peers think, he has no desire (so far) to experiment, he is home on Friday and Saturday nights, and he loves video and computer games. I guess, in looking back, my oldest was easier as a child/baby and my youngest has made the teen years a little more bearable. So, the answer to the question of which age is more difficult?? I would have to say the early years and the teen years. From 5 to 12 was a piece of cake. That’s 7 years out of 18 that were not as trying. It would have been easier having 2 people to deal with the issues rather than one but Im not complaining. I have great kids, not perfect but definitely human.

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5 comments:

Heidi said...

I am new to your site and am also a single parent since my daughter was almost four. Great to hear your comments, I can relate a lot to what you say. Thanks for sharing in your blog. :)

Chelle Y. said...

Everytime I see that picture of your boys to the right, it gives me hope! It's so scary rearing children alone, but I think it's more scary raising boys! Especially, with me being a "handicapped" mom, I cannot go out and play sports with him. I do have him in soccer, which he loves, but I worry a lot too.

Don't get me wrong, I would not trade him for the world, and I am so thankful he is with me, but it does help reading your posts and thinking that so many people do it alone today!

Thanks for the encouragement!

Jenny McB said...

I wasn't into blogging this week, but did see that you got highlighted on the TT13.

This is a well written post and gives hope to a single parents. You are so right about those middle years being the easiest, we just didn't realize how good it was! Amen to video games keeping them home on Friday and Saturday nights. I would rather have my kids home with me than with the popular crowd.

My oldest is in his second year of college and he is doing just fine socially. Now my middle one...oh man, I can relate to the girlfriend thing. Not Psycho, but needy and he's just hooked..

Anyways, just wanted to comment on your great post. Have a wonderful weekend.

Elaine, Michigan said...

I stumbled upon your site and read this blog. The middle years were easiest. I too have two boys. I have been a single Mom since the oldest was 5 and the youngest was an infant. It's been really hard raising boys on my own - harder than anyone can ever imagine, but full of joy as well. My youngest has PDD-NOS (high functioning autism) and ADHD like behaviors. So I know the trials you speak of there. My oldest is now a freshman in high school. Seeing the photos of your two very handsome and well-adjusted young men really inspires me and gives me such hope that a single MOM CAN indeed raise well-adjusted and successful young men. So much of our society discriminates and looks down on single Moms and for those raising boys -- it's particularly hard. Your successes only serve to inspire those single Moms coming along behind you. Thanks for the post.

Lori said...

Thank you for that wonderful compliment. It seems as single mothers we are always fighting for something but you can never give up!! I think women do a great job of raising men (boys) that will some day be wonderful husbands:) I wouldnt have had it any other way.