August 1, 2008

Is fighting good for a relationship?

Im not sure about your thoughts on the matter but I believe that life isnt always supposed to be peaches and cream. I think people that say they are in the perfect relationship because they never fight are trying to pull your chain. Its human nature to argue. Some like to do it more than others, but in the end, everyone wants to be heard. Myself, I like peace more than drama. Im more prone to routine then spontaneity. Although, If I have a point to be made, or something makes me mad, you'll be the first one to know. I try to pace myself. Rather, think things thru before exercising my issue but it doesn't always work out that way. I use to have a very bad temper. I would fly off the handle, sometimes even becoming violent, when someone ruffled my feathers. I learned my lesson the hard way. My conclusion, that isn't always the best choice. However, analyzing a situation to death before confronting the other person isn't always the best option either.

People learn from their mistakes, or at least they are supposed to. If you do something that someone doesn't like, and that someone means alot to you, expect feedback. Unless, they just don't care. It which case, you might have something to worry about there too if you are romantically involved. When the input is gone, so is the spark. Ive only had one relationship that was in constant turmoil and I hated it. I was young though and followed my heart instead of my head. Heck, I still do that along with a million other people. Fighting can be therapeutic if its done the right way but both people have to not only hear, but listen, which can be the tricky part. If we are all so busy trying to get our point across that we are deaf to input, that can be very destructive to any relationship. Be it romantic, sibling, parental, or friendship. You have to be willing to give and take. As far as the romantic fights go, just think about the make up sex. The only problem, the mental bruises that are left by the harsh words spoken can last a long time. My advice, if you are going to say something to someone you love, and you know it will hurt their feelings, think twice before saying it. No matter how mad you are. Easier said than done, right? Sometimes silence is golden. Any feedback on this one? Do you disagree??? because I'm willing to listen.......


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3 comments:

Chuck said...

As always, gr8 advice. You're right on it. It takes practice, but it is the best thing. For 6 years, I have worked on this with Stoney and am so grateful that I did. The couple/few times something that was said that was really kinda bad, we immediately apologized and worked thru it. Ya just gotta...it's worth it.

Hey, I'm also here to tell you I'm passing along a blingy thin to you if you would like to have it. *smoochies* and have a gr8 weekend.

Here it is: Perfect Blend of Friendship

harassedmomsramblings said...

mmm not sure if fighting is good actually! But also not sure its bad!

I am a fighter - I have no issues with confrontation and will rather have it out here and now than stew over it for days! Was a major problem with my ex cos he would ignore me for days until he felt I had done enough begging and pleading!

Crazy Working Mom said...

With hubby and myself sometimes we need to get a little argument out of the way to move on to other things. We don't argue a lot, mostly because after ten years of marriage we know where the line is in the sand and we don't cross it. But, I think that sometimes arguments just can't be avoided and as long as they don't get out of hand and are handled in an adult like manner, then they are perfectly normal!