October 8, 2007

From a mans point of view....

My girlfriend Roni forwarded me something that I wanted to share. It was written by someone simply known as Rich R., written 9/15/07. This guy is very good. Its Untitled so it must just be a random thought. He sounds like someone that knows a thing or two about relationships:

Face it. Relationships are hard. No lets change that. They’re incredibly hard. To bring two separate types of individuals into a single life to share each other’s thoughts, joys, depression, anger, and happiness. Most likely one of you wont be on the same page as the other at the same times but we expect them to be. Life doesn’t work that way.

We need to remember, we’re two separate people with separate lives and separate problems. Yes, many of your problems involve both of you directly but many don’t. You can never change your partner into someone they’re not. They spent 20 to 50 years becoming who they are. They aren’t going to change for you. It’s not going to happen. They can try but how long will it last until they turn back into the real people they are?

We all have disagreements, arguments, fights, or whatever. In how we do this is the difference in making or breaking a relationship. Remember, every fight leaves some kind of scar. Whether that be emotional or physical. Neither is pleasant and some can last a lifetime. Physical scars heal much quicker than emotional ones. When one suffers enough emotional scars, they get to a point where they are going to explode. They just can’t take it anymore. Their life seems ruined and one can go into a deep depression or be internally working on how to get out of this relationship. Whether that means divorce, an affair, or a complete mental breakdown. This is when someone is most vulnerable.

Would you rather be in a horrible relationship or be alone for a while? Getting yourself back together and then moving on to your new life. And yes, a new life. I know my choice. I have made it twice in my life and both times I made the right choice. I moved on. Was it a difficult decision? Absolutely, tremendously hard but one I had to make to keep my sanity and not be sucked up into their miserable world. Be safe and be good to yourself.

Wow….its funny hearing it come from a guy. As women, we always think that its us that suffer more than the men. However, Im not sure about that anymore. I can understand what he is saying from past experience and failures. Sometimes making the decision to walk away is the only route you can take. Be strong and do whats best for you.

Thank you Roni for sharing that with me and being there for me. We've been through alot of good times and bad in the 28 years that we've been friends. I think we both got something out of this!

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