October 12, 2007

The sex talk….when do you have it?

That’s a hard question to specify because each child is different. Now picture that you’re a single mother of two boys. What do you do then? How do you sit them down and say, “Look, I know you have questions about sex, wanna ask me now?” Although, I didn’t do half bad. I bought a book. I told my son’s to look through the book and if they had any questions, just ask. My oldest was too embarrassed (he was either 11 or 12), to ask questions but my youngest wanted to know everything about EVERYTHING. I used a banana to show them how to put condoms on. Masturbation was a little harder to explain, I mean, what do you say? I know as a girl, I learned about masturbation all on my own. I figured boys would too but my youngest actually had questions. It was probably because he was eavesdropping on his brother’s sex talk and he had no idea what in the heck the word meant. I tried to be as open minded as possible when talking to the them but its not easy when you’re a different sex than the one you’re trying to explain the facts of life to. At least with girls, you have a clue. Girls see the whole thing a little differently than boys. I think if you are open and honest with your kids, it should be like any other milestone you go through with them while growing up. I imagine it would be pretty tough for a single father to talk to a girl about those kinds of things too. Whatever you do, don’t refuse to have the talk because you aren’t ready for your child to grow up. That is a big mistake. I wouldn’t condone sex but I bought both of my boys a box of condoms just to be safe. Kids are going to do it whether we agree or disagree. I know I did. Be smart. We teach our children all through their lives what to do and what not to do, its up to them to make the decision. Make sure they have the right information to go on because some of the stuff they get from their friends is downright comical. If you want them to make the right choices, they need to know the truth.

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Baba/night owl said...

Hi Lori,
This sex talk is better today than when I was growing up in the 50's...I can talk about anything on sex now days. It is so funny,because my daughter gave her new and unused condoms to her nephew ..who is 16..Better safe than sorry..My daughter is expecting her third child in February and has no use for them.I think it is great to have a open talk line with your kids.Good for you!!

baby~amore' said...

Interesting stuff... our oldest son is 14yrs and developing akeen interest in girls.
Better put it on the list.

By the way I have an award for you -Community Blogger Award - just not sure how to get the code to you - can't find email address and being new to Blogs I don't know how to do it LOL !

TeaMouse said...

It is so important to have the sex talk with your kids. I am lucky that my DH could have it with our son and that he didn't just explain the mechanics of sex but also a good understanding about the emotional side as well. Boys don't realize that when they have sex it can be just sex, but the girl becomes emotionally attached afterward. Knowing that and knowing that no protection is 100% full proof we did tell our kids not to have sex unless they were ready to have a baby...so far so good, I guess you never know though. If they meet someone things could change but so far our son is adamant that he wants to wait - I would just hate for him to treat sex casually and not realize the effect it has on the girl involved.

Our daughter had to be told a whole different side....the side about the boys willing to say anything to get it. They're pretty crafty and really it's all hormone's at that age and not that they are bad people but it's the time of their life where they are primed to mate...lol!