Is there really a problem or is it just what society thinks?

A lot of people like to talk about single-parent family problems and their disadvantages to children. This can lead some single parents to think there is little they can do to have a successful family. That's not true. Not all children growing up in single-parent families experience negative consequences. Focusing on the weaknesses and problems doesn't help single parents and their children become strong. The acceptance of responsibilities and challenges neither minimize nor exaggerate problems, you need to seek solutions. Parents need to acknowledge the difficulties (lack of personal time, restricted social life, sole responsibility for meeting multiple needs, financial stress) without self-pity or bitterness. The commitment to family often means putting the needs of the child first. Single parents genuinely like and enjoy their children, sacrificing time, money and energy for the sake of the children. We try to be supportive, patient and help the children to cope. Having 2 boys can be challenging when you don’t have a positive male role model in their life. Like other effective parents, we are consistent and non-punitive. This type of discipline gives children choices, uses natural and logical consequences and provides structure. It’s a good idea to encourage clear and open expression of thoughts and feelings. I’ve always been very open and honest with my boys about everything. I’ve also noticed, by giving them independence and responsibility, they are more mature than most of their friends. For someone as young as my oldest son (19) is, he really has his stuff together. I don’t know if I can take credit for that or the military, either way, he is taking care of himself and the responsibilities that come with being an adult without having to be told to do so. As a single parent, you need to be well organized, dependable and work hard to coordinate schedules. You just have to remember to take care of yourself through physical, spiritual, emotional and/or social means. You need to maintain a tradition, whether it be a bedtime routines, special family time together or holiday celebrations. When a family has been disrupted, maintaining traditions becomes a stabilizing force, something that can be depended on. Since my kids were so young when I got divorced, I think it was easier for them to adapt. The older kids have more of a problem, I think, unless the family situation is out of control. Then, it may be a relief. All families, including single-parent families, have strengths. Achieving success as a single parent is difficult, but it can be done. As with any family, you can have the quality of family life that you want, if you are willing to pay the price.