Going through a separation or divorce is one of the most traumatic events a person can experience in a lifetime. Here are a few tips that may help:
MANAGE THE EMOTIONS - Stop the turmoil by using stress management techniques. Move from feelings to rational thinking.
AVOID MAKING LIFE ALTERING DECISIONS until you are thinking more clearly. This may not be the time to relocate or change jobs.
REASSURE KIDS THAT FAMILY LIFE WILL CONTINUE, just in a different way. Go to the bookstore or library to find age appropriate books to explain separation and divorce to children.
ASK "AM I ACTING IN THE BEST INTEREST OF MY CHILD?" - Keep arrangements as simple as possible and don't put kids in the middle.
MAKE A SCHEDULE - make a list and target dates to help you feel more in control and less stressed. Delegate as much as possible.
ASK FOR HELP FROM SUPPORTIVE FAMILY AND FRIENDS - be specific about how they can help. Get professional help if you need it and dont be ashamed. I think going to a counselor was the best thing I ever did. Sometimes it's just too hard to get through this by yourself.
BE REALISTIC - It's important to have realistic expectations and not to expect too much from yourself and everyone else when you are feeling so bad.
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF - get adequate sleep, eat healthy, exercise. Give yourself a break - you deserve it. Be protective of your need for solitude.
ONE DAY AT A TIME - It gets easier. It gets better and hurts less as time passes. Spend time with others who understand what you're going through.
GRIEVE THE LOSS - separation and divorce is devastating and it takes time to recover.
I hope these simple tips help you to get thru the tough times. This will be a life altering process but you can always look at it as a new beginning.
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2 comments:
I don't know how I am going to survive. I want to fold and leave and run to Florida where my family is based. We live in Colorado. My husband of 15yrs and 3 children was cheating on me. I am devastated. Am lost, ill and broken. I feel like I won't make it. I've lost 10 pounds I can't eat and only drink water everything else makes me ill. I ate a small bowl of watermelon the day before and 1/2 a banana yesterday and ice cream to get something in me. Everything washes right through me. I feel like I am dying and want to at times. I am lost and don't feel like I will ever smile again. Thanks Ann ormesher92@msn.com
Dont do anything drastic or in haste. I will contact you directly thru your e-mail. Im here for you. You're going to be OK....being lost, ill, and broken are only temporary. Let me see what I can do to help.
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