Raising teenagers can be hard, especially if you’re a single parent.

It's no question that raising teenagers is a challenge no matter how many parents are living in the home. Especially the ages between 12 and 16, which are marked by mood swings, defiant attitudes and attempts to push limits set by parents. During this time, teens try their hardest to gain adult independence, which is a normal part of growing up. So, this is the time to help them learn lessons and find their way to adulthood, despite the fact that it sometimes makes us feel like we are raising aliens from another planet. My oldest son took me to hell and back. As a single parent, I cried many times trying to figure out what I did wrong and why my child was doing the things he did. Their father lives in Tennessee and has only been in their live via telephone for the past 8 years. Although, he wasn’t dependable when he was here to begin with so I felt very alone. If it weren’t for the help of my sister and mother, I probably would have had a mental break down. I read a lot of books and articles that got me through the tough times. Here are a few suggestions that some of the experts say may help you get through the power struggles and turmoil that we all face as parents of teenagers.

Create Realistic and Enforceable Boundaries
The earlier this is done the better. Let your teen know that some boundaries you will negotiate and some you wont. Curfews, schoolwork, appropriate behavior, are some typical boundaries to set. Also, you can let your child come up with ideas so that they will be more apt to comply.
Dress Codes and Hairstyles
This is a good place for negotiating. The job of the teen is to shock their parents more than her parents shocked their parents! Most of the time, their desire to wear extreme clothing or hairstyles is directly correlated to the parent's vulnerability to the shock value. If you are horrified that your son wants to wear pants 4 sizes too big and then use a belt to hold the baggie jeans off their hips, just compromise and go with 2 sizes too big. I know that sounds silly but teenagers are so stubborn, they don’t care how ridiculous we think they look, it’s all about the style and what their friends think. If your daughter wants to dye her hair purple, don't freak out. Encourage her to buy non-permanent dye and allow her to do it for a weekend. Compromise a little and don't let your shock show — the motivation for the extreme will probably wane.
Non-Negotiable Health Issues
When it comes to alcohol, drugs, smoking and other obvious health risks, there should be no negotiation, and your child needs to know this. They say you should let them know they are responsible for their own behavior and should take themselves out of situations that could lead to trouble…lol…I have to laugh at this concept though. It’s really good in theory but I had a teen that did all three and had continuous problems with the law. That was my life for 2 years. Its amazing how good teenagers get at lying. Put the rules out there and follow thru when they are broken. You can get real tired of dealing with this day after day but its better than having no rules at all. Some parents give up…at one point, I can see why, but you can’t give up. As soon as they think you have, they will walk all over you and you might as well forget ever gaining that control back. You may need help if you have a troubled teen. Doing it as a single parent is more than challenging, its life altering.
Create an Inviting Environment
Make your home a safe haven for not only your own child, but for your child's friends as well. This means being approachable and available, even if the teens don't have much to say. Teenagers love to laugh, and they love to tease — learn to laugh at yourself and with them. My kids and I always cut up with each other. They are two of the funniest people I know.
Show Respect for the Other Parent
Even though you may have different rules, respect the other parent's opinion and explain to your teen that you are each entitled to make different rules for your separate homes. This has worked really well for other single parents that are friends of mine but I never had to deal with this. My ex was out of state so everything fell on me.

The bottom line is, don’t give up. I never thought Id survive with my oldest but I did and now he is in the Navy and I am very proud of him. Who’d of thought? At one point, rehab or prison were the only places I thought he would end up. In the end, he apologized for putting me thru what he did and thanked me for being such a good mother. Now, I just need to follow my own advise with my youngest, who will be 16 in October. So far, this appears to be going much easier then the first time around. They are two different kids, thank God, and my youngest witnessed everything the oldest put me thru so I’m hoping he will think twice any time he is faced with a difficult situation.