August 7, 2007

Top reasons for getting a divorce

I was doing some research on the internet and came across this list of top reasons couple get divorced. They are as follows:

*A couple has conflicting personal beliefs
*A couple’s marital satisfaction decreases
*Adultery (once bitten, twice shy)
*Cruel treatment
*Bigamy (I was shocked at this one in today’s society)
*Spousal Indignities (humiliating treatment)
*Irretrievable Breakdown of some kind

I believe that reasons for wanting or going through a divorce usually come from some sort of occurrence, behavioral pattern, and/or change in the viewpoint of the marriage itself. One of my pet peeves (but was not the cause of my divorces) is lying, and that has made me end more than one relationship before it even got to the marriage aspect. To me, if a person lies to you, they can’t be trusted. Truth is the foundation for every relationship and without a foundation, you can’t build anything that will last. I don’t understand a grown persons need to lie unless its habit. Considering I have major trust issues already, this type of behavior would be a red flag for me in my search for a prospective husband candidate. Anyway, we're talking about divorce not "How to find a mate and what to look for" order to really make a smart decision, you should first list the reasons that you have for wanting a divorce, and then examine those divorce reasons for true viability. Give it a couple days until the anger or “heat of the moment” passes and then come back to that list. Chances are you will be able to scratch a few of those reasons for wanting a divorce off because they were identified purely from an emotional viewpoint rather than logic. If you are thinking about getting a divorce, and haven't clearly identified what reasons you have for feeling the way you do, you'll be doing yourself a 'dis-service' if you act without carefully examining the situation. Everyone has their own reasons for wanting a divorce, make sure that you are certain that your reasons are truthfully viable to you before you act on them. Take it from a girl that had to pay for 2 divorces, think before you overact. If the answer in the end is that you are truly not happy, don’t second guess yourself, do something about it.


thecabinet said...

is spousal indignity ?

Qtpies7 said...

I've stuck through some horrid, horrid crap that I most certainly "should" have gotten a divorce about, but now I have a great marraige.
I really believe that you can make it work, and that unless you work through the issues you'll just keep bringing baggage to the next marraige. I've watched my mom go through this like a train wreck, one after another. So I learned to work through it. Now, if it happened again, I would be gone. Not all marraiges can work, but working hard is worth it. (I'm really not being judgemental, I know not all marraiges work out)

Sandy said...

My 1st husband decided to tell me on our 25th wedding anniversary that he was in love with a girl from work, who I thought was my friend. I met #2 on the computer. BIG MISTAKE!!! He lied about everything, including the fact that he , ummm, forgot to divorce wife #1 before marrying me. I am now happily married, but very gunshy. Kind of waiting on that bomb to drop. But I still believe in marriage and only hope this one lasts forever.